voicemail | b.e

forty four

this was a double update so make sure you read chapter forty three first! 

my dad and I took a flight to New York, to meet with his solicitor before he met with my brother face to face.

I was going to meet them the day after, he needed to meet him alone first to to talk about things with my mother and explain himself, I just hope it goes well.

I'd been here for two days and I miss billie so much. we'd barely been apart since I left for tour and it already feels like its been months.

bambi

miss you so much
wish u were here

wish I was there too
can't wait to see you again
are you okay?

yeah I think so
i'll facetime you later

okay baby
i love you

i love you more 

my dad was staying at my apartment, I just didn't want him to be alone right now, and I didn't wanna be alone either.

I haven't told cara who my brother is, I don't know who knows, or if he wants me to tell people, but I will if he's okay with it.

I told cara about my dad coming, and explained I didn't want him alone and she was happy to let me sleep with her for the night while he was here, he'd be going home tomorrow night anyway.

I promised him I'll come home when we next get a break on tour, and hopefully my brother might want to come too.

my brother.

I still can't believe I have a brother.

I wonder what my mum is thinking right now.

I haven't spoken to him, because frankly I don't know what to say.

I think he needs to talk properly with my dad, get the answers to the questions he probably has.

Does he even know I'm his sister?

Does he want to know?

Will he want to be my friend?

My brother?

I can't imagine what life feels like for him, I just hope that he's okay, especially with everything he's dealing with right now.

cara has gone into college today so I'm all alone in the apartment.

once I've cleaned my room, and the rest of the house, as well as a thorough shower, I'm still alone.

I decide do some stickers on my instagram story to kill some time.

I MISSED YOU SM
hi! I missed you all too :)

whats august 18th mean?
you'll find out soon I promise

you're so fucking pretty
thank you! some of yall have been amazing since I came out and I appreciate it sm

why did you come out when you did?
um pretty loaded question. it had been on my mind for a while, especially after officially meeting billie because we didn't meet for a while after we became friends (I was so scared lol) but part of it was out of my control, other part just wanted to get it done, so I wasn't thinking about it. I haven't really been on my phone, but people have told me its been a mix of bad and good responses, but lets not forget I'm just a person! this shit aint easy lmao