Magical [KRIS]

13. { why won't you admit it? }

"Agh! Bwisit!" Sigaw ko, at kinalatog ang dinning table. I exhaled, rolled my tongue and closed my eyes. I can feel everyone's eyes on me.

"Hoy, no bad words pag kumakain!" Sehun. Tsk, the maknae scolds the hyung? Lol no. At hoy pa talaga. Aba gago.

"Kris." Kyungsoo.

"Ano bang meron? Kanina ka pa badtrip ah? Nawalan ka ba ng tubig kakaligo kanina?" Baekhyun. Tngina kelan ba ako nawalan ng tubig sa CR.

"Di, baka badtrip, linagnat si Tao, kaya 'yan, walang kasama maligo?" Hula ni Jongdae. Aba, pangalwang gago ah. Napa-buntong hininga nalang ako at iminulat ang mga mata ko, sabay inom ng tubig.

"Nothing's wrong." I say, at pinatuloy ang pagkain. "Asuuuuuuuus!" Sigaw nilang lahat.

"Palusot.com ka pa." Jongdae

"Kita naman eh!" Minseok.

"Alam ko ang anong meron niyan." Narinig kong sabi ni Jongin, but I just ignored him. Of course, he knows. Tsk.

"Anong meron? Teka, may dumi malapit sa bibig mo, Jongin." Rinig kong sabi ni Kyung, kaya napa-angat ako ng ulo at napatingin kay Kyung na pinahiran ang bibig ni Jongin.

"ANO BA DI TAYO TALOOOOOO!" sigaw ni Chanyeol. Hahahaha, OA mo pare. Parang kaibigan lang naman. Tsk, selos ka? You admire Jongin right? Tch.

"Selos ka lang." Sagot ni Jongin kay Chanyeol, at halos mabilaukan ako sa kinain ko, at inabot ang tubig.

"Are you okay, hyung?" Tanong ni Suho. I nodded and continued to eat.

Tnginang salita yan. Selos? Pfft.

"Kris--" I cut off what Chaehyun has to say at tumayo. Yeah, she eats with us. "Nawalan na ako ng gana." I say, bringing my plate and made a beeline to the kitchen. Nilapag ko ang plato ko dun sa sink at umakyat sa lounge room, leaving all the members and Chaehyun there.

**

"Hmm, okay ka na Tao?"

"Mejo bumubuti na ang pakiramdam ko, thanks Noona~"

Gago ah, nagpapa-cute ba si Tao? Tsk. I passed by the room as if I wasn't standing there for more than 20 minutes. Kunyari kaka-daan ko pa lang.

Tch. Ang lalandi, tngina. As I passed by the opened door, nagtitimpi akong sabihin ang gusto kong sabihin, but then, every word escape from my mouth like ice, broiled in coldness.

"Tch, landi ah. Akala ko may sakit ka Tao? Are you faking it to get that woman's affection? Oh god, ang luma mo." I say, as I pause in between sa pintuang bukas, looking straightly at nothing, with my hands in my pockets.

"Gege, grabe ka naman makapag-salita, para namang di mo'ko kilala sa tono ng pagsasalita mo." He answered back, in a regret tone; which made me think for a minute. Damn, I was impulsive! Di ko man lang inisip ang mararamdaman ni Tao.

"Tch. People change. You might've changed." Pinanindigan ko ang nauna kong sinabi at pinatuloy na lang ang paglalakad. As I turn the knob to my room, narinig kong magsalita si Luhan.

"Ah. Alam ko na kung bakit badtrip ka kanina." He says, and I turn to see him smiling like a retard.

**

"Alam mo hyung, bakit ka nga ba nagkakaganyan in the first place?" Tanong ni Luhan, habang kino-kontrol ang joystick niya. Dammit, he's winning.

"I don't know. It came like rain to me, little droplets at first, then a downpour. Making me think why it came. You never know the reason why downpours fall, right?" Sabi ko, habang binabangga ang pulang sasakyan niya. His race car drooped to the side, at ako na ang nangunguna sa race.

"Tangna ka. Wag ka ngang foul play!" Sigaw niya, at binangga ang kotse ko. Tumawa ako at binangga ang side mirror niya, tapos rumagasa. There's still another round left.

"Tch, grabe ka ah. Yan ba ang nadudulot ng selos? Nagiging deep? Lol." Dugtong niya, getting back to the topic. I laughed and thanked the heavens for making this lounge room soundproof.

"Tss, OA ka lang." I say, getting ahead of the track. Napamura nalang siya, pinause ang game at hinarap ako.

"What you do that for?!" Sigaw ko. Tss, porke't nangunguna na ako, he'll pause thr game? Tch. Kung alam ko lang, nagco-concentrate na yan kung pano ako tatalunin.

"Did you just agree na nagseselos ka?" He says, at tinignan ako na para bang nakakita ng unicorn.

"Nope." Sabi ko, at pinpilit i-play ang laro ulit.

"No you just did! Hindi mo tinanggi!" Sigaw niya, at pilit nilalayo ang remote.

"But I didn't confirm it." Sabi ko at naghanap ng ibang remote to un-pause the game.

"Denying is a way of confirming, hyung." He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Talaga?" I say, giving up finding a new remote. Dammit, madami naman kasing remote yang TV na yan eh, it's just that the others are too clumsy.

"Hyung, may dalawang posibilidad kung bakit ka nagkakaganyan. One, is you like Chaehyun noona. Two, is you care for her more than a friend, kaya 'yan." Pag-eexplain niya, at kunwari di ako nakikinig, but actually? I am digesting all the shit he said.

"Ah. Diba pareha lang ang dalawa?" I say, pero andami ko talagang sabihin. It just feels so gay to feel this thing again.

"Kaya nga, which leads to the conclusion of you making her more of a friend." Sabi niya, at tumingin sa malayo.

"Hyung, kaya nga tayo pumunta dito at ni-lock ang pinto, para makapag-usap. Now, pa'no ka malilinawan niyan, kung ayaw mong pag-usapan?" Dugtong ni Luhan. I roll my eyes, at nagkunyaring kinakalikot ang phone ko, when actually, my mind is soaring out there, somewhere only I know.

"Wag mong sabihing nahihiya ka?" Out of the blue na tanong niya. I immediately threw my phone and face him. I pointed to myself and snickered. "Tss, ako? Are you sure you're talking about me? I'm not gay around those shit!" Pagmalaki ko at kumuha ng couch pillow at binato sa kanya.

"Tss, gago!" he laughs, then got serious. "Ano ba talaga hyung? Ba't ayaw mong aminin? Why won't you admit that you're jealous?" Diretsahan niyang tanong, and I mentally gaped.

Why?

I don't know. Actually. Like I said, it were raindrops, to downpour. Parang, nung nakita ko siyang inalagaan si Tao, the feeling came like waves; di napipigilan. And words came out like river, running smoothly and cold.

Bullshit oh, nagiging Socrates na ako tngina.

"I don't know." I finally answer, at tumingin agad sa TV screen tapos pumikit. Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga ni Luhan.

"Dahil pa'rin ba kay Jess? God, Kris! Antagal niyo na ni Jessica! Ilang taon na ang lumipas, you still can't get over her?" His words knocked on my chest like police raging outside a criminal's house. Dahil alam ko, at the back of my mind, that he's right. That maybe I still can't get over Jessica.

"Baka. Baka nga dahil mahal ko pa si Jessica, na baka nga ayaw kong aminin na nagseselos ako, because maybe I can't get over Jess. That maybe whenever I think of jealousy, I can't think freely without thinking about Jess." I sigh at diniinan ang pagpikit ng mga mata ko. "Nakakagago na'rin, pare." I say, clenching my jaw like I'm gonna break it.

"Wow." Tanging nasabi ni Luhan.

****