i know you so well - ymir x historia

C1 - we dont have to talk

we don't have to talk...

it was raining so hard the drops on the window resembled bullets hitting the ground. historia opened her eyes to a worn out blanket covering her face. her head ached and her mouth was dry. she uncovered her head and chugged the water beside her bed.

her floor was clean, but her desk was covered in empty cups and old to do lists. her dresser was piled with neglected books and graded papers. her closet door was barely open, clothes seeping out from the small crack. and historia's nose was stuffy, her body stiff from the lack of sleep.

she sat up and felt the clothes on her skin dismantled and out of place. her hair stood up in certain places and her eyes were as red as carnations, but they burned like hell.

and as they watered, she let the false tears fall to her cheeks. maybe caffeine would make this better. or maybe a quick shower? but the girl had no time to wonder, it was 8:00am and she had to be out the door in thirty minutes. this was more than enough time for her to get ready, but she was always in a rush.

her school uniform was simple. a short-sleeve white button up paired with a navy blue ribbon at the center of the collar; a navy pleated skirt to match and a tan blazer to add some contrast.

nobody else was home anymore, historia's parents left for work much earlier in the morning. it stopped raining, but it was still cloudy. it was nearing winter, so the sun had barely come up yet. blue light from the sky invaded her living room as she walked down the stairs. there were pancakes on the counter, a nice offer of peace from her father.

she ate as much as she could with the time she had left before seeing a note next to her plate.

i hope today is much more than just, "fine."

-dad

they had a fight the night before. historia admits she was unnecessary and just wanted to take her anger out. she wasn't an exception. she got mad just like everyone else, regardless of her shy and nice exterior. but she felt a guilt inside because she has never resorted to yelling or even raising her voice. especially at her parents.

after school the day before, she was socially drained and had no energy to give to her dad. so instead, she gave him quick and cold responses.

she walked inside looking at her feet, aiming to dart upstairs before anyone got a word in. she knew it was coming and she tried to compose herself before she ran out of patience.

"how was your day?"

"fine..." historia didn't look up, she started her way to her room.

"just fine?" her dad tried to get more out of her, knowing an answer like that deserved full attention, but historia just wanted space. the last thing she wanted was someone's attention.

she didn't answer.

"oh so you're ignoring me, now?" her father chuckled from the couch. and it was that statement that earned Rod an intense glare. before he knew it, he was being screamed at by a voice that didn't match the anger.

"can i be alone for like...two seconds?"

after her rant, she went to her room and said goodbye to her father with a slam of the door.

but historia didn't need to explain herself. Rod already knew. as soon as she lashed out, he understood. he didn't pride himself off being a "good parent". he just got the memo. when your child yells at you, they're trying to tell you something. their last intention would be to disrespect you. Rod got that. historia was allowed to have emotions.

historia knew this well enough, too. her parents always had her best interest at heart. she realized her dad wasn't disappointed in her for yelling. her relationship with her parents made it much easier to feel appreciated, to feel loved. she wondered what it would be like to have parents who weren't so raw and accepting.

her thoughts began to clear as she noticed the birds singing above her. the sun decided to show itself now, reflecting off the wet roads.

historia wasn't completely aware of how she felt today. she's barely had time to process. her head no longer ached and her eyes were clear. did she feel calm? not really...she was always really worried before going to school. she didn't feel upset or overwhelmed. but she wouldn't say she's in a good mood either. perhaps it was okay to feel a bit disoriented and confused. there doesn't always have to be a reason why.

the air was brisk. historia just wanted to get inside the building, but she still had about a block to go. she picked up her pace, letting her shoes hit the ground with urge.

there were cars passing by, gifting her a breeze so she would be even more freezing. she noticed a few people in the same uniform, but none of them were close enough to bother her. historia enjoyed company, but she only ever left it at that.

she didn't really have many friends because she never felt like she related to anyone. she never knew what to talk about or how to hold conversations when she did have something to say. as she got closer to the school, she let her mind go silent so she could focus on her surroundings. she went to open the door and braced herself for the cold metal, but a hand was already there.

a girl, much taller and assertive than historia could even wish to be. she was out of breath, clouds escaping her mouth.

ymir.

historia knew of the girl because they'd had a few classes together. even so, she never really had any interactions with her. even with the lack of sun, freckles littered the bridge of her nose.

"hey...historia right?" ymir was bullshitting. she knew the girl beneath her, but not as well as she would like.

"yeah...thanks." historia went under ymir's arm, leaving her wanting and a little hurt. ymir first met historia in gym class a few years ago. she admits she has a crush, it's the only thing that motivates her enough to go to school. and she wasn't ashamed by it.

being able to pine after a girl who clearly has no interest in you definitely passes time. funny because now they're juniors...and ymir has unfortunately rejected many others for this "simple" infatuation.

it's been nearly three years and she's still here. yet she hardly knows anything about historia. all she wants to do is learn everything she can. there came a point when staring at her from afar just wasn't enough. she wanted to hear her voice, her thoughts.

the two had a distance between them as ymir thought about her next actions. but she usually didn't think much before making a decision, she let her mind decide for her. ymir walked slightly faster to catch up, but historia stopped in her tracks as she approached, causing their shoulders to crash.

"oh, sorry! i didn't realize you were—"

"no, you're fine," ymir held her shoulder in pain. "it was my fault. i was trying to talk to you."

"oh..." historia kept shifting her eye contact from different spots on the ground to the girl next to her. she wasn't really in the mood to talk, she was focused on getting to class. she hated being late. it would be better to fight as a soldier than to have to walk into class late. ymir caught historia's drift.

"or we could just walk together. we don't have to talk," ymir let a smile paint her face. historia was a little shocked. nobody has ever said anything like that to her, she's been dreaming about it since the moment she could talk. most of the time, historia found a lot of stress in conversing.

so the two walked together and ymir kept a safe distance. she wondered what class historia had, what classes she didn't like, what her favorite class was, why they didn't have any classes together...historia was just worried ymir could tell how out of her element she was.

AN:// my stories keep getting deleted so let's PRAY 🤨🙏 that this stays up. i hope you all enjoyed and i'm so sorry if i made any grammatical errors. obviously disregarding the fact i write in lowercase. thank you for being here, you are seen and heard <3