i know you so well - ymir x historia

C2 - and i was tired

...and i was tired

ymir was late to class. she told historia her class was in the same hall, but she actually had to sprint two halls down. ymir knew it made historia calm down, having someone walk her to first period. even though they didn't know each other well, she watched historia's shoulders tense and fall over and over. she was still nervous, but a little less. and ymir felt herself smile at the idea...she helped at least minimally.

she played with the thought that one day she would be walking historia to class as much more than a friend, but that was just a wish of her's.

historia really did feel a little better having someone walk her to class. it made her seem like she wasn't such an outcast. she was aware she was conventionally attractive and had a lot of privilege, but her anxiety made her differ from the social norm. neurodivergent behaviors were always seen as, "weird".

just as always, the two had a long day at school. ymir was different from historia in a sense she had no problem being social, she just didn't feel the need to be so extroverted. but historia didn't really have a choice. ymir spent her day pining over historia, noticing how she ate her lunch away from the cafeteria. she noticed how she always went to the bathroom before each class. she noticed how throughout the day, her eye bags slowly turned more purple and her facial expressions proved her rising impatience.

ymir thought she was sly, but historia has always noticed her. their paths always crossed. everyday, she saw the girl at least three times. at lunch, between fifth and sixth hour, and as she was leaving. some days, she would see ymir between every class period. nevertheless, it was always the same day, repeated like they were ghosts reliving their unfinished business.

but historia felt differently today than the others. ymir and historia didn't happen to always pass by each other, those were ymir's intentions.

historia wasn't sure why ymir was doing this. when she got home, she thought about it for a while. her parents weren't home yet, so she quietly did her homework and thought about the girl.

perhaps ymir wasn't intentionally trying to be near her. maybe this was just in her head.

ymir got home and looked down at her phone as it buzzed. her mom was going to be late today, so she had complete privacy to think about historia for the rest of the night.

ymir realized she almost felt predatory. it was an innocent crush, but as a woman herself, she knew if a guy did this it would be weird as hell. it wasn't that she was stalking historia. she wanted nothing more than a glance whenever she could. it made her stomach do flips, seeing historia in any circumstance.

but wasn't it strange? or would it be considered strange...to think of someone you hardly know in such intimate ways? ymir was starved, longing for the sensation of a reciprocated touch. she always imagined what it would be like to be held in someone's arms, to be seen in a way she sees historia.

historia has never really liked anyone. that came along with the social anxiety. she never knew anyone well enough to like them, she needed a lot more information about someone before getting a clear idea of what place they had in her life.

in contrast, ymir didn't believe people had a destined place or person. if you wanted something, you had to apply your intentions. if you wanted somebody, you had to work for it, wait for it.

she wasn't infatuated with historia because she was pretty. she wasn't infatuated just because she was lonely. she liked historia's mannerisms, her voice, the way she talked. ymir could easily read others. she couldn't say she knew much about historia, but she knew enough to like her like this...

ymir's room was filled with dark reds, but the colors weren't intimidating. maybe it was the notebook filled with thoughts of the girl she liked. perhaps it was the half-eaten pancakes sitting on her bedside table. or maybe it was the old stuffed bear tucked into her sheets that made her seem more approachable.

whatever it was...ymir sat on the edge of her bed wondering how she could get to know historia better. in a way that was natural and moving. she wanted the slow-burn, the ache, the want.

historia felt a similar way. she wanted to be with someone who took the time to understand her. someone who was able to read her with one blink, someone who could love her enough to tell her when she was wrong. someone who could communicate their feelings and needs so she didn't have to wonder for herself. she wanted someone complex...yet too simple. so she could, in return, read them with a singular blink.

and as the sun began to fall, the two girls thought and thought, hoped and pleaded, wished and manifested...they would feel at peace someday.

soon their eyes began to fall, heavy with the intentions of staying awake for one second more. being alone with your thoughts, finding comfort in your mind, was the recipe for falling asleep.

they found comfort in their worries.

AN:// hey my loves!! i hope you enjoyed this chapter :) more to come quickly !! there's like no reads on this as of now...😔 heart been broke so many times...

but with that being said, i'll keep my patience. i hope you all recognize your worth, understand how much you've accomplished. you are worth every moment, every word. anyway...goodbye my whores 🤨👋