Avengers Oneshots

Alliance Part 1

So I saw the post above and I just knew that I had to write about it except I'm going to write this part about how they met and the next... well, I'm free for suggestions.

So, I refuse to write bad language words that Steve would be disappointed by (stupid, I know) so, whenever it says 'language' in the text, feel free to insert whatever word you want in place of it. Just, not in the comments.

I'm still open for requests and feedback. Please feel free to do whatever one, I love hearing from you guys.

Ok, I'll shut up now. Enjoy!

There are things that Loki made sure not to let anyone know. Things like the people he meets.

People like Deadpool.

How they met was quite entertaining.

3/1/2002 (Date/Month/Year)

Deadpool was seen entering a taxi in his suit, ready for work. When he entered, though, there was already someone else in the taxi.

"(Language). Excuse me for being rude but why the (language) did you let him in this taxi? I (language) told you this morning, I am (language) going to work and I don't want to (language) be distracted before I go to the job."

"And you are..." the man asked.

"Deadpool, nice to meet you. Now, who the (language) are you? Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. *Le Gasp* Are you Tom Hiddleston? If you are then this is literally the best day of my life!"

"No, I am Loki of Asgard. Now, I am trying to read and I understand that you have a job to do so, if you are not going to let me read then tell me about your job, not that I care anyway."

"Oh, that's disappointing. Now, what are the chances that you and I are in the same taxi and act so similarly? It's almost like we are the author's favourite people, am I right? So now where is my... (language)! (Language, language, language) I am so (language) stupid! Again?!?"

"Well, I have not been in your presence for long and yet I already know that all of that is true, but I became quite concerned when you said again. But yet again, it's not like I care."

"Where did I put my (language) amo bag! Have you seen a black and pink Hello Kitty bag around here anywhere? I need it so that I can unalive some really bad people, like worse than me bad and I am a (language) bad person."

I like him, Loki thought approvingly. We could possibly get along quite well.

"I do not typically offer my services but I could help if it is needed. I have committed first degree murder before."

"How many confirmed deaths have you caused?"

"I lost count but I did kill 80 people in two days once."

Deadpool turned to face the mysterious man with a grin plastered on his face under his mask.

"I like you. Okay, you can help but don't get in the way of my bullets. I only have..." he paused to check how many he had in his gun. "16 bullets left and I already know what I can do with 12."

"Don't distract me and we have a deal."

{Small Time Leap To The Battle Where Loki And Wade Unalive People Together}

"Right, cue the music."

Music suddenly starts playing from seemingly thin air, which confused Loki very much.

"Where is that coming from?"

"I have no idea but I think both the studio and the author like it when I say that. Let's try again, shall we? Cue the music."

And so the battle began.

Black vans started to drive towards them very fast. Loki disappeared and reappeared on top of one of the vans while Wade did a cool flippy jump and landed on top another one. He jumped through the open window of the side door. He turned to face the guy in the drivers seat.

"Oh, hey there," he said, turning his gun to point it towards the other guy's temple.

"15," he stated while firing.

He then jumped out of the car, letting it collide with the one in front of it. After the cars slowed to a stop, he made his way over to them. Once they came to a stop, he shot at anyone that he saw move.

"14, 13, 12," he shot at the guys.

"Oh man this is fun. Have you done anything yet Tom? That was your name, right?"

Loki rolled his eyes and made multiple 'copies' of himself. Then, he pulled out multiple of the knives that he just randomly kept on himself and started to 'help'. He grabbed some of his throwing knives from who-knows-where and threw them at some guys that were running towards him in attempt to kill him, which he thought foolish. He threw them, killing four with three knives. How, he still has no idea.

{Time Skip To After The Fight}

"That was fun Loki. We should do that again sometime. You have a phone that I can have the number of or is that too 'out of your world' too?"

"You are comparing me to my idiotic brother too much, Wade. Yes, I do have a telephone number that you may have. I too wish to be aquatinted with you another day."

They exchanged numbers and had a little chat before it was time for them to leave.

"Until we meet again, Wade Wilson."

"Oh, we will meet again, that's for sure. The author wouldn't have a plot if we didn't."

"What?"

"Nothing."