Disenchanted (Frerard) Wattys2015

Chapter 35

Gerard's POV

"Morning, baby." Frank sighed, even though he was so clearly unhappy, his voice still made my lifeless body happy, I couldn't help but feel the same every day when he came in, I would have the odd nurse talking to me or him/herself but other than that, I just had absolute silence from 3pm until around 8:30am. Much to my disappointment, sadly every morning had been the same for the past week, Frank would come in trying to sound happy, he would sit down, hold my hand and just talk to me all day, he would tell me everything that had happened how everything was at home, how Kyle was; everything.

It was agonizing for my head that I couldn't turn reply, I couldn't even open my eyes, or squeeze his hand, I don't even think he knew I could hear him. The worst part of it all, was I knew what it was like in Frank's position, which made it all the harder for me to stand not being able to reply to him. Sitting by a comatose person, a person you want so badly to wake up, is hard enough, but when you don't even know if they will wake up, that's harder. Nobody knew if Frank was ever going to wake up, nobody knew if I was going to wake up, it confused me a little actually, the bullet had hit my shoulder - surprisingly not blowing my arm off - why was I in a coma? I will never know the answer to that.

Frank would never know quite how much him coming everyday meant to me, if I woke up I would tell him, I would try to anyway, but I don't think I will ever properly be able to explain to him how much it meant. Rambling on to me about everything on his mind, about all his plans for the future, that's what he did and it brought me so much joy, he even told me that he was thinking about doing an online degree for some form of teaching. Thinking about it, it was like listening to all those times he would sit and talk to Jamia, only he was doing it to me, that really got me. Whether it was the fact that he was doing the same to me as he had done to the girl he loved so much, or the the words he spoke in themselves which made me feel so special, I don't think I will ever know, but one thing is for sure: It made me realize that he really did understand, he knew I loved him and he loved me back.

On the other hand it did scare me a little, that he spoke to me in such a similar way, because Jamia was dead. Was I dead? Did he think I was dead? Did he think I was going to die? Honestly all questions I would like to leave unanswered, all I wanted, actually needed was to wake up. I needed to for Frank, I needed to for Kyle and I needed to because Bert wasn't going to win this, he wasn't going to ruin Frank. If Frank, didn't love me, if Frank wouldn't be effected if I died, then honestly I would be happy to, I would want to, but that wasn't the case, I couldn't leave Kyle and Frank.

"I said this every single day, you must be getting pretty damn sick of hearing it," Frank laughed nervously sitting in the chair by the bed and holding my hand tightly. "But I love you, I know I said that this wouldn't work, that I would never forgive you, but I pushed you away, I got so afraid, but I can't live without you now and I don't want nobody else." I felt a drop of warm liquid fall onto my hand, he was crying, how I wanted to lift my hand and wipe his tears away, tell him it was okay, because I only wanted him, but I couldn't.

It was a funny thing actually, I felt everything that was happening to me, I could feel when they injected me, when Frank held my hand, when he pushed my hair out of my face and when he kissed me, yet I could do nothing else. Could I move at all? Nope. Could I open my eyes? Nope. Could I smell anything? Nope. And could I speak? Of course I fucking couldn't.

"You remember that time when I was the one in a coma?" He asked, he took a deep breath and I could hear him wiping away his tears. "Do you remember that you sang me a song?" I remembered, of course I did, how could I forget, I still sing it to him when he's asleep, but I think I'll keep that a secret. "It meant the world to me, I loved it so much and it made me so happy, I-I wrote a song a while back, when you first came to New York. D-do you think I could sing it to you?" Yes, I wanted to say yes, I tried to scream yes, maybe he would hear it maybe my body would work, but it didn't.