Disenchanted (Frerard) Wattys2015

Chapter 7

Thank god, I had a teen next door, babysitter, I knew the racket would be worth it one day. sixteen year-old girls love little kids don't they, they also like money, so a night with Kyle being paid $20 wasn't too bad was it? Nope, no it wasn't thank goodness, she was a nice girl too, Kyle liked her and she certainly liked him.

Sophie as she was called, had babysat once before, and she had come and bales cakes and that sort of thing before. I can't say anything bad about her all I knew was positive, she seemed like a nice enough girl.

Walking back towards the dressing room after my third of the night I was pretty tired. Luckily for me I got really good money, I think she rich ass gamblers or something came, in I earned more tonight than on most Saturdays and Saturdays get a lot! Well maybe I haven't got Katie but I do have a months worth of food money, five hundred bucks.

"Brendon I'm screwed." I said collapsing back into my chair next to Ryan.

"Hi Frank good to see you too." Ryan said sarcastically trying not to laugh.

"Yeah hi Ryan. Guys I'm fucked." I whined throwing my head down.

"What you do now?" Ryan joked, definitely not expecting the answer he was about to get.

"I told Katie I'm gay." Brendon completely froze, his face showing pure shock, I knew he didn't think I would actually tell her, but was it really that surprising?

"Why the fuck did you do that?!" Ryan exclaimed completely baffled. "Your no-"

"Yeah, sweetie, yeah I am." I flipping my attention back to Brendon who was no longer in shock, he looked almost as confused as Ryan actually.

"Why is that bad? Surely that's good." He questioned ignoring Ryan's confusion - which he was making an effort to make clear to us.

"We're getting a divorce."

"That's even better isn't it." H furrowed his eyebrows struggling to find a situation in which this was bad. He was right, I cared about Katie, I say that too much, but I do, It is better to be divorced though, it gives us both freedom. I need freedom, I can't if I'm married, not properly I'd feel guilty. "Wait i-is it Kyle? She taking Kyle?"

"Well no, but she walked out." I sighed, it was really hitting me hard now, I might just about make the money, if I work my ass off give the best shows ever maybe get a day job, but how am I going to earn the money? I work nights, I can't expect Sophie to babysit Kyle every single day of the week, shit man. Oh Christ, I didn't think this through, I broke up with my wife, for a guy I'm refusing to talk to, now I'm going to be scraping my pockets for money but I can't come to work because I gotta look after my son. Holy shit I'm an idiot.

"With Kyle? I'm confused." Ryan whined, Brendon agreeing.

"No, she walked out saying she didn't want to see Kyle again because it'sbetter for him this way, after the divorce is final she's going to Australia." I mumbled.

"Well that means you don't have to worry about Kyle, I don't see how that's bad." Ryan sighed apologetically.

"Because, I can't work. Kyle's four, I can't leave him for five hours every night."

"Babysi-"

"I have no family and you are literally my only friends, guess what you can't 'cause you work with me." I sighed slamming my head down, they didn't reply to that, I wasn't surprised what could be said.

The past five years, I've done everything to try to be positive, positivity is always the best answer. Being a pessimist sucks, attempting to be an optimist is good, hard but good, being an optimist is ridiculously impossible when you quite literally kind see an way out of your situation. Like a big black metro tunnel, there's a train coming there is literally no way of the tracks and the tunnel has no end, the only difference being I'm not going to die in this situation, just live in extreme difficulty. It's safe to say that as a naturally depressed pessimistic person like myself, the thought of suicide has crossed my mind several times, but what sort of father would I be then, his Mom just waked out and then his father's kills himself? That's selfish as fuck, I'm not selfish, not when it comes to Kyle, my main priority in life is Kyle and his health - and I suppose mine to an extent because if I have bad health I can't look after him. I'm a selfish shit, I thought it was for the best but again I fucked up.