Dark of the Tide [Shadow and Bones]

Chapter 8

I looked up at him with wide eyes, stammering out a response. "A-aren't you afraid?"

    "Of?" He asked quietly.

    "Falling in love."

    He chuckled softly, hesitantly brushing my dark hair from my face. "I'm afraid of being the only one who falls."

    I shook my head. ". . . you're not the only one."

    "Then why? Give me one good reason, and I'll stop."

    I sighed and stepped back a little. "Everyone who gets close to me gets hurt. And I can't take that chance with you."

    He sighed and rubbed a gloved hand over his jaw, thinking it over. "I'm no stranger to getting hurt."

    A small smile flickered onto my face and I laughed softly. "I know. But . . . I'm afraid of what Aleksander will do."

    "To you?"

    I shook my head. "No. I don't care what he does to me. I'm scared for what he might do to you."

    He took a step closer and slowly reached out a hand and then drawing it back after a minute of hesitation and struggle. "You should leave. Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay . . ." I said a little dejectedly, opening up the door.

"Arabella,"

I looked back. "Yes?"

A small flicker of a smile appeared across his face. "Sleep well."

    ". . . you too. Goodnight, Kaz." I said and gently closed the door as I left.

———

"There you are, Milo. Have you been hanging out with Arabella?" Jesper asked his goat with a big smile, sitting down on the straw-covered floor of the stable.

The goat looked at Jesper and bleated loudly, prancing around us.

"Actually, I came here to be alone, but then Milo found me and we've been "hanging out" for a while." I replied.

"Oh. What for?" He asked, resting his chin on his palm.

I shrugged and looked down at my hands, fiddling with a small silver coin Aleksander gave me.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm having second thoughts." I replied after a while of silence.

"On?"

"Kaz. Aleksander. Me being—choosing—to stay here." I said, looking up at him and shaking my head slightly. "I don't know what to do, Jesper. My life is quite literally going to go up in flames if those two meet."

Jesper snorted softly and nodded. "Yeah. I hear the general is going on a rampage looking for you. Killed two Grisha to see if they had any information on where you are."

I swallowed and shivered internally at the thought. "Saints. I can't believe I liked him. I mean, he's cute and all, but a total psychopath."

"Well . . . we all make mistakes, Arabella. Don't worry about it. Kaz makes mistakes all the time." He said.

I scoffed. "Yeah. And liking me is one of them."

Jesper blinked in surprise and was taken aback. "Wait. Are you sure were talking about the same Kaz? You're talking about the guy who kidnapped you, and then sent you on a death mission? That Kaz?"

"Unless there's another Kaz in Ketterdam, then, yes. That Kaz." I replied, ". . . and I still don't know how I feel."

"About him?"