Finding myself (18+)

Chapter 5

Dear Applicant,

The admissions committee has carefully considered your application and we regret to inform you...

Reading it for the twentieth time I'm still expecting the words will change. But it doesn't. My first response from a French college and I didn't have to read it all to understand it is a refusal. To know I didn't get it.

I grimace looking at it, knowing it is a good one, one of the bests I have applied to. If not the best I have applied to.

"Have you understood the spreadsheet?" Jeremy asks entering my office. He has sent it to me this morning, informing me we will work on it in the afternoon. Financing details of the use of renewables in the commercial center. In the project, we are working on.

I haven't been able to concentrate for a minute since I have read the response from the college. It is scary considering I won't get in, it makes me feel away from my dream, questioning if I will get it in any way. I won't deny it ruined my second day at work.

"I'm working on it" I respond with a small smile.

"You can continue with it later, we should attend a meeting right now".

We leave my office and I follow him to a meeting room, some people are already in there, around a huge table chatting. I take a place close to Jeremy in the semi-circle table. Inspecting the front of the room where every chair points at. And behind there is a large screen on the wall.

The room goes suddenly silent, I rotate my chair to face the door like everyone else.

Andrew enters with confidence and large steps and I understand why every eye is on him.

He is freaking hot in his grey suit.

Although, I hope everyone else is staring for a different reason. No doubt his suit is tailored, it hugs his ass as I wish my hand could.

At each step, I can see it from a different angle, and damn how will I focus on the meeting now?

Stop it, Kelsey!

It is the first time I see him after our discussion. I can't be already drooling over my boss. Over my boss very nice ass.

"Good morning..." He starts speaking and I barely hear it. I'm fascinated by his confidence and how he sustains everyone's attention on him.

His movements are synchronized and his costume follows each move. Reminding me how good he is underneath it.

He doesn't glance in my direction during his presentation, or smile, or recognize my presence in any way. I'm here as any other employee, as I have asked him to.

Exactly as I have requested and yet it bothers me.

Char affirmed yesterday whatever happened between Andrew and me meant something to Andrew. And it woke something in me. Hope, I guess.

It is confusing, I'm not sure what I want, or what he wants and it shouldn't matter anymore. Although, it does.

And the image of Dani at the beginning of her and Eric's dating takes my mind. How she was completely lost, freaking out, not seeing evident signs in front of her. They were obvious to me, but not her. It doesn't leave my head, as it is explaining I'm in the exact same place right now. In denial.

Andrew is in front of the room, and I wish he seats like everyone else, yet he remains standing. And my eyes linger stubbornly on him.

The black on his eye is fading, having a shade of yellow now, it slightly noticeable.