Finding myself (18+)

Chapter 34

"It happened once. A long time ago, before I met you." Andrew explains, agitated. He's walking around, but never too far from the door.

I'm bouncing on my feet and fidgeting with my dress, looking for a way out. For space. For a place where I'll be able to think.

I don't want to talk about this, not right now, when I'm so angry he never mentioned it before. When all I can think about is them together. I finally understood where she's coming from.

"Kelsey...look at me."

I shake my head, not believing he left me alone with her to have the news instead of being the one telling me.

"Kelsey, please."

"You should've told me."

"Maybe. But it's not like we have each other's list of one-night stands." He halts walking and tilts his head to look at me.

"It's different, she's part of your life. You work with her."

And tonight I saw how cringe she gets with him. She's after him all the time. If it happened once, could it happen again?

It was exactly what she tried to put in my head when she says she was a friend who is always there for him. The message was clear: when you screw it up, I'll be right there to catch him.

We know each other for a while now, but it still feels like we just met. Our relationship is recent, and new, by the way we lack communication skills, I might say fragile. Is like it's all broken when we barely started.

Each time I allow myself to believe we could work it out, something prove me wrong.

And it's always related to the same damn thing.

Communication.

Andrew types on his phone and no longer after Alicia appears at the door smiling and adjusting her dress.

I know he wants to clarify the situation and ensure we are both here for that. He sent her a message, and she came as fast as she could. And seeing her here, with the longing in her eyes only strengthens my will to leave. I felt trapped.

"You want to talk to me?" Alicia asks. Her smile fades a little when her eyes move from him to me. When Andrew takes my hand, to avoid any possibility of my escaping

"Why the hell did you mention we slept together to my girlfriend?"

Alicia flinches and I try to pull my hand out of Andrew's but he tightens his grasp.

"I valorize honesty." She recomposes herself.

"Honesty? Telling about a mistake of years ago?" She flinches again, and by the hurt on her face, it's the first time he's called it a mistake.

"It wasn't a mistake and you know it."

"I don't even remember it, Alicia! I was fucking drunk. All I remember was waking up and regretting in the morning, before sneaking out."

Details. The last thing I need is the details of that night.

"Don't be mean Andrew, just because your girlfriend is here. We both know it meant something." She raises her voice, being sure of what she's stating. She stares at him daring him to say otherwise, and I step back.

Andrew gasps and leaves my hand to put his head on his hands. I try to leave, but he is fast holding me again.

I know it was a long time ago, but it isn't easy to hear about your boyfriend's escapades. Especially when it wasn't him telling you about it and with someone who is part of his life. Someone who's clearly very attached to him.