Finding myself (18+)

Chapter 30

The world is spinning faster than usual. Or perhaps, I drank too much. Half asleep, my head is heavy and hurting and I didn't glimpse the light yet. My eyes are closed and my stomach is playing a wicked game.

It twists, informing me I could throw up at any moment. I'm afraid I already did. A bad taste infests my mouth. It's sour with a mix of lemon and salt. It's nauseating, disgusting.

I really hit rock bottom.

That's what happens when you open a full bottle of oppressed feelings and you mix it with a bottle of Tequila.

Before my eyes are completely open, I blink, slowly, a few times to get used to the light. Then it hits me.

Panic.

I panicked because I don't know where the hell I am. I can't remember the end of the party. How I left it and with whom I left it.

My eyes are completely open now and I'm lying here, frantic and staring at a bookshelf that is not mine. Not mine.

My stomach twists again.

I'm afraid of turning around and finding someone sleeping on my side. Someone whom I can't recognize.

By the snoring and heat coming from the left side of the bed, someone is right there. My shaky hand clenches the duvet, postponing to face him.

Little by little the cold crawls on my skin like tiny spiders, letting me know I'm naked.

I peek under the covers, releasing a gust of air.

I see underwear. I'm wearing underwear. Ok, it's still alarming, but better than naked.

Minutes pass and I stay there. Quiet, still, controlling my breathing to not reveal I'm awake. My head hurts and can't decide my next move. I have no clue what to do.

The judgment coming from myself is heavy but not heavier than the fear.

It might be a common occurrence for a few people but it's a first for me. It's the first time I drank so much and can't remember anything. So before I face the stranger on the left side of the bed, I need to remember. Anything.

What the hell did we do? Did we...?

My body is steady when my eyes scan the place looking for indices. His clothes, my clothes, or maybe a condom-

I flinch, no please, don't let me find a used condom.

I'm trying to retain the freaking out inside my head, to not be the crazy chick screaming in a stranger's house. But is getting harder and harder. And I'll have to yet turn and face him.

The snores stop and the mattress bounces and that's more than enough for me to jolt and get out of the bed. Afraid he would come closer and touch me.

My way out doesn't go as planned. The duvet wrapped around me is the cause of my fall when jumping out the bed. And the cause of a pick of my stress once I'm on the floor trying to get rid of it. To untangle me from it. But it only gets worst.

"Kelsey?" My eyes focused on the duvet are fast to find Antoine's worried ones. He rubs his eyes leaving the bed.

"What happened?" My voice fails. Finally, I'm able to stand up. I grasp the duvet and use it to cover myself.

Antoine moves and I find him in the same condition, only in his briefs.

I hold my breath moving backward until I reach his bookshelf. My vision blurred and I lean against the bookshelf for support.