Dearly Beloved

--> Twenty-Nine

~~~

That's how I felt. Alive.

Alive at the fact that I could finally see.
Alive that I finally saw Matt's face.
Alive at the fact I could smile with someone lovely smiling back at me.
So so alive.

And that was something I wouldn't give up for the world.

~~

I was out of the hospital weeks after being able to open my eyes.

Two days later my birthday came up.
Matt invited me out for dinner. I said yes.
Mom took me to buy a dress.
I hadn't realized that I grew about three inches and my body was slimmer. My jeans were big enough for me to float in. My shirts weren't even tight anymore.

Mom blamed it on the chemo. While I blamed it on the fact I lost my appetite more than a year ago. For specifically known reasons.

The size 3, navy-blue mid-thigh sequined belt dress I got fit perfect. Mom recommended flats but I chose some two inch black heels that I loved on me.

Matt was about six inches taller than me at a height of six feet two inches, I didn't worry about being taller.

--

He came by at around five to pick me up. He was dressed in black dress pants with a white dress shirt that suited his form quite perfectly. The sight was breathtaking.

Ready Ezzy?

Afraid I was probably drooling I brought my hand to my lips and made sure they were free of any drool.
I am.

He extended his hand and I gladly took it. I said bye to mom and dad and they told us to be careful.

When in the car I asked him where we were going and he said it was surprise. This intrigued me so much.

How have you been Ezzy?

I've been okay.

Any headaches?

Actually yes, everyday.
It was no lie.

Oh no. You know there'll be a cure soon.

I almost gave a laugh. Matt lets not be like that. We both know this stupid disease takes everyone's life sooner or later. And there'll be nothing I can do. Nothing that the doctors will do. Nothing will change fate.

But Ezzy, why so pessimistic? you're not like this. You always think right. Positive. Where's my cheerful Ezzy?

You know Matt, you've taught me that second chances exist. And I will be forever grateful. But you also taught to take advantage of life while we have it. I came out alive once already, but I now understand why. Something worst was awaiting me. A worst way to die. And wether or not we want it it'll have to happen sooner or la...
He stopped me in the middle of my sentence.

Ezzy do you know how many people survive that fucking disease? and the fact that you're planning to give up and not fight it infuriates me. I love you Ezra Rose Gordon. I am in love and it is a fascinating feeling and I just want you with me forever and ever. But that won't happen unless you put some effort into being with me forever. Please it's too soon to give up. You got a second opportunity and you don't plan on taking it? how can you? if you don't plan on fighting back you're going to leave a disappointed Matt. And he won't be very happy.

And immediately I began thinking.

Maybe I should fight.
Maybe I shouldn't give up quite yet.
Maybe I should devour all the beauty I'm receiving.
Maybe Matt's right and life is worth more than what it seems.
Maybe, maybe will be eternal.

~~

Hours turned into days, and days turned into months.

And somewhere during that time I fell in love with Matt.
Utterly, completely, and insanely in love with him.

He made my stomach clench with every word he said to me. Butterflies in my stomach flew as if on steroids. And fireworks blew up every time he talked to me. The mere sound of his voice made my body rigid up and stop functioning. My brain had reactions that were unimaginable. Emotions took over me. And it was all perfect.

Perfection at its best I would say.

~~