Dearly Beloved

--> Six

I finally saw a dazzle of your teeth today.

Dearly Beloved
Your eyes had a sparkle once again.
Your teeth had a radiation again. A certain sparkle.
One that I dearly missed.

Unfortunately it wasn't for me.
You were with Ana.
Maybe it was for her.
Maybe you made up.
Maybe you forgot all she did.
Maybe you still love her.

What had she said to you that made you smile.

Maybe she forgave you.
Maybe you forgave her.
Maybe you understood.

Maybe

Maybe

Maybe

That's all that's been in my mind. Maybe

~~~

English class is approaching and I am personally still debating on wether to enter or not.

I want to because I'll be able to see your face. The face I've been missing for days.

I prefer not to because I'll have to deal with your sadness. The sadness you're hiding in so well. I'll have to deal with Ana turning just to smirk at me and scream I beat you at your own game!

And that, is something I'm not willing to accept. Because I've felt lost for so long but I've always ended up loving you more.

To my bad luck Miss Roesch enters the room and says for me to come into class.

I walk in.
My eyes dash to you.
And my heart starts beating with a rhythm hard to keep up with.
You seem normal.
I don't see the melancholic spark in your eyes.
In a way it saddens me.
In another it makes me happy.

I take my seat.
I say nothing.

The silence continues for what feels like hours, although only a few minutes pass.

Suddenly you tap my shoulder. I don't turn. I just flinch to let you know you've got my attention.

How are you Ezzy? Your voice, cheery.

This melts my heart.

I'm fine and you? What else could I have said.

That's great Ezzy!

I give a simple nod.

And nothing else happens.

Suddenly I see Ana looking back with a scowl.
Don't bother talking to him. He doesn't and won't ever have feelings for you. I've beaten you. Accept it. He's mine now.

At that commment my head pounded and my heart shrunk. The pain I felt was soon driving me crazy to the point where I had to grab my bag and run out of there so fast, I had no idea my fat and lazy body could manage the speed.

And it was over. It was all over. I was done trying.

I hurt to exhaustion.

And depression overtook every cell of my body. I did not come out of my room all day.

Mom didnt ask what was wrong.

She didnt have to.

She knew.

I knew,

Ana knew.

Everyone knew.

Except for you.

~~