Dearly Beloved

--> Twenty-Eight

~~
I woke up to beeps. And I knew that sound all too well.
I already knew where I was.
I didn't even bother to cry in pain.
I froze.
My heart sank.
What happened?
Was all I could think.

The doctors didn't realize what they were doing.
They were killing me. They hadn't seen the cancer.
It was invisible.
But it was lurking in just about every cell of my body.
And I didn't even feel it.

They didn't even see it.
How?

But they said they would try everything in their hands to get rid of it.
They couldn't really because it'd been in me for years.
But no one noticed.
NO ONE.

All I had left to do was resign to the fact that I was dying.
And there was nothing in my power to do.

~~

After a few days I gave up on trying.
My strength was gone and I had no more will to keep on trying.
I spent hours upon hours trying to open my eyes.

The doctor told me they would open willingly.
When they were ready.
And I had to be patient.

But didn't he understand that I had no more time. I felt myself leaving soon.
I felt my life leaving with every day that went by.

~~

Finally on March 12th I woke up with tears in my eyes.
Max it's been a year.
It's been three-hundred-sixty-five days. Since you left.
And I'm on this bed.
I'm on the last place you'd want me to be.

Why?
Why is it me?
How?
How did this happen?

Dearly Beloved, its almost time to meet again.

~~

I opened my eyes a bit.
The brightness almost blinded me again.
The first thing I saw was someone on the chair next to me.
A hand was on mine.
Matt?
He had your color of hair. With the same waves.
His hand seemed so perfect on mine.

My vision was a blur.
But I sensed him waking up.
His features moved slowly and I couldn't help but admire his face.
It was chiseled in the most perfect angles.
His nose was almost like yours.
It suited his face perfectly.
And the similarities between you both made my mouth drop.
Simultaneously I stared at him as if seeing something strange for the first time.

He stared back wondering if maybe I was able to see him.
His eyes were piercing blue I felt as if they saw right through me.
And as soon as he reached over to touch my cheek, I froze.
I froze in place and felt the goosebumps raising on my skin.

Ezzy? His lips moved perfectly. And everything about him was perfect.

Matt... I whispered loud enough to just be able to hear myself.

Can you see me? He asked impatiently.

I can.

Shock.
Impulse.
Relief.
Admiration.
Love.
Beauty.

There were so many emotions.
So many.
I tried getting up only to be pushed back onto the bed by all the many wires wrapped around me.

I had so many questions.
So so many I didn't know where to start.
How do you feel? He asked.

The truth? I asked.

All of it. He responded.

So, so ALIVE.

~~