Monday, 10th May 2021
I won't talk about this again.
I don't want to talk about this now but that probably is the reason why I need to. Just one last time.
I'm great.
I'm happy. I can deal with my anxiety.
I have everything I need. I am loved.
I am proud of everything I've overcome.
But I still have an eating disorder.
Feels weird finally admitting it. After all of this time this is the one problem that I can't seen to shake off and I have no fucking idea how I'm supposed to.
There are times that it's better, that it's only this voice nagging in my head telling me godawful, ugly thing. But I don't take action, I manage to control myself.
Other times there is no control whatsoever. I obsessed over exercise and calories. I skip meals. I panic at the feeling of food in my mouth and end up making myself throw up. I feel a scream stuck in my throat every time I need to look in the mirror.
It's a constant battle that I never win nor lose and I don't know how I will ever escape this never ending loop.
YOU ARE READING
Head High
Non-FictionI am eighteen now, and still scared. I haven't always been a scared person, life somehow made me that way at some point. Over the summer I learnt to fight back. I am still scared, but you don't know. Because I have my head held high. And mark my wor...
