Saturday, 22 March 2020
Layed down in my bed with still a few tears streaming down my face.
I couldn't sleep.
Even though I just had a panic attack, I slept all day since we're stuck at home in quarantine.
I had various options for things to do. I could read, watch a tv show, go on YouTube, anything.
But I stayed quiet, still crying a little, and sat up on my bed.
The room was dark but I could see my surroundings slightly because of a lava lamp I had gotten for Christmas.
Looking at the lava moving, turning shapes and forms, I remember whispering,
"pretty".
A warm feeling appeared in my heart, making all the negative and sad and hateful thoughts I had in my mind freeze.
A spark of ease took its place and I didn't want it to escape.
That's when I realized my magic wasn't lost, or running away.
It was with me all along... I am so afraid all the time that I end up hiding it, underneath this mess we call life.
All I had to do was remind myself how grateful I am for the people in my life, for the best friends I could ever ask for, for my dad that I love with everything that I have.
How grateful I am for my beautiful kitty, for my new apartment that already holds so many great memories.
My room that is literally my world that I had the privilege to decorate the however I wanted. The clothes I have, the food I eat.
I am grateful for hot morning coffees, for fall leaves, for beaches, for the parks and coffee shops.
I am grateful for flower.
I am grateful for stars.
I.... let myself go. I was too caught up with everything going on that I lost sight of who I am and what's important to me.
There are so many "pretty" things in this world, but you will never see them if you have a heavy heart.
YOU ARE READING
Head High
Non-FictionI am eighteen now, and still scared. I haven't always been a scared person, life somehow made me that way at some point. Over the summer I learnt to fight back. I am still scared, but you don't know. Because I have my head held high. And mark my wor...
