In My Time of Dying

Chapter 12

                                                              Chapter 12

                                             "The Disobedience of Words"

I took my time in the shower and even decided to towel-dry my hair. It was almost tempting to dry it strand by strand just so that it would buy me time; Lucca was the last person I wanted to see and yet the only one who I wanted to comfort me. 

I dressed myself simply and left my hair down. Not knowing what I was about to do or say, I somehow felt that things were about to change.

That was a lie; I did know that things were going to change because I had already promised myself that they would. What did I always tell myself as a child? No takesy-backsies.

I walked down the stairs as quietly as I managed and tried to calm the dull ache in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't nervousness that plagued me; seeing Lucca with that girl had literally made me sick.

Kahlan caught me outside the living room and told me that she knew something was going on with me. I told her I wasn't feeling well. I wondered vaguely if that could be considered a lie.

Smoothing my hair like a silly school girl, I mentally shook myself before turning into the living room.

He was beautiful.

Somehow, maybe it was the threat of losing him to someone else or the long night I had just endured, he had gone from being gorgeous to downright breathtaking. And that made this whole situation that much more frustrating.

He looked up and smiled, his bright eyes shining.

"Hey." Was his voice always that smooth, so pure?

I swallowed painfully and forced myself to reply. "Hi."

His smile suddenly slid from his face and he was on his feet in a flash.

"What's wrong?" he approached me quickly, his voice laced with concern.

My throat tightened as his overall appearance hit me. He looked just like he had in my dream.

"Just stop. I need a minute." I wearily put up my right hand and used my left to cradle my face.

I needed so desperately to think and clear my head. Everything I had previously thought of saying had been banished from my brain. 

"Evangeline," he said, sounding slightly alarmed, "please talk to me."

I felt tremendously guilty and almost started to apologize. That is, until reason kicked in.

My head snapped up and my eyes zeroed in on his and narrowed.

"Oh, you want to talk? Let's talk! Of all the people for me to trust, I just had to trust you. I told myself that you were different and that all the sweet and kind things you say and do you actually mean. I'm such an idiot!" I huffed at the end and watched him closely to gage his reaction. 

His face stayed frozen before he suddenly came alive.

"What are you talking about? Have you completely lost your mind or did your personality switch get stuck on," he lowered his voice, "your bad side?"

I started to shake with a mixture of anger and indignity. 

"What am I talking about? Let me think about that for a second. Oh, right, last night. Remember last night Lucca?"

His forehead pinched in confusion before realization dawned on him.

"Oh, did you want me to sit with you? I'm sorry, I didn't see you and I thought tha–"