Pulled Back

Chapter 9

My body felt like it was on fire like I would explode at any moment because of all the anger coursing through it.

That asshole, not Julian right now, I haven't heard from him in a few days. Jake, that piece of shit was going to hear it from me.

Dirt kicked up as I drove like I was in a movie of fast and furious, all I could think was 'how dare he' over and over and over again in my head, beyond furious at the man, trying to control my life, I don't care if he's just trying to do what's best for me, what was best for me was my decision to make. What I did with my life was my choice and he has no right to try and control what I do because he holds no role in my life as anything other then my ex-dealer.

I stomp on the brakes, a cloud of dirt forming around my car as it screech towards it's stop in the front of jakes house, almost hitting three cars parked at the far end of the driveway. Swinging my car door open and getting out my anger only worsened as I see the crowd of cars littering the yard, my nose met with a diversity of smells, smoke and cups previously filled with alcohol was filling the garbage can and the few loner cups on the grass lawn.

I walked into the house as the door stayed ajar when I approached it, he was having a little party anyway so I wouldn't see why I wasn't allowed to let myself in. Would he be mad that I showed up to his house, yes he would, did I care? No I don't, and I was going to prove my damn point that if I wanted something -wether he approved or not- I was going to get it.

I nod towards Carlos, a friend of Jakes who currently sat on the sofa watching some dude do body shots off his girl, Carlos softly cursing under his breath while standing up quickly walking up to me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he whispered yelled, almost looked like he was trying to hide me in the corner of the room.

"Where is he?" I jumped straight to the point

"You need to go-"

"Where. Is. He" I say louder, making it more of a demand for an answer then a question. Carlos looked around with a frustrated face before his eyes glanced towards the balcony and I smile at him as he unknowingly gave me the answer to my question "Thanks" I push pass him

Maybe I shouldn't cause a scene but if that's what the encounter came to then I would put my full attention into the argument to come. Anger management was something I needed to work on but wasn't going to.

"WHAT THE HELL!" I snap as I stepped out of the house, closing the sliding door behind me, and ignoring the eyes of his little smoke buddies .

I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing that there were only guys outside but it saved me time from listening to some bitch saying that I should shut up, get out, and leave any or even all of these guys alone.

But only one of them mattered to me at the second.

"What now Bianca" Jake rolled his eyes at me.

"So that's what you're doing now, going around and telling people not to talk to me, not to sell things to me, they aren't even giving me weed Jake"

"Good, you don't need it" he shrugged with more of a smile, like he accomplished something.

I stood there with a smile of my own for a second, a laugh breaking out from me after the awkward silence started to weirdly become some comedy joke.

"I don't need it?" I ask and he shook his head "How many times do I have to tell you that what I do is my business, it's my life Jake so quit fucking with it and telling me what I can and can't do!"

"Go home Bianca" he scoffed

"No, how do you like that answer? No, I'm not going to go the fuck home" the words flew out my mouth as soon as he spoke, I knew he would get mad and I love the idea of pissing him off after he pisses me off "You know you always try to interfere with my life but you don't realize that your attempts are pathetic, a blowjob can take you a long way if you choose the right person to give it to"

"Bianca!" he shouted as I walked back in, glancing back at him as I make my way outside.

He was like Julian except sober a lot more, only took stuff that kept him in control of his actions, never hit me and I do say a lot of agitating fucked up things but no types of abuse to me has ever come from him. I would be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for him but he never acted on his feelings for me and I guess I couldn't make the first move, I feel like I'm physically not capable of admitting that I've had a crush on him for a while.

He was hot and he was always nice to me, he showed he cared about me and that made my feelings get only deeper.

But I wouldn't doubt he was probably embarrassed by me, I've said some pretty whorish things like the comment five seconds ago, I don't know.

I made horrible decisions.

I speed walk around cars with him chasing after me, and I scoff this time as he catches up sooner then I thought he would, and pulling me back to him, my body collided with his.

I try to push off of him but he just kept pulling me back.

"What the hell do you think you're going to do? You don't even see what I mean Bianca, you need some real help, a fucking therapist not some drug because you want to ignore everything"

"YOUR ONE TO TALK!" I yell

"I KNOW!" he yelled back "I'm trying to do better, I haven't smoked anything in weeks Bianca but I'm done playing games, I'm cleaning myself up and you should too!"

"What if I don't want help? Huh?" I grumble "What if I like how things are?"

He scoffed and his face morphed into one of disbelief "Bullshit Bianca, your sick of it you just don't know how to stop because you think it helps. You are going to get yourself killed, I'm trying to prevent that but you're too stubborn-"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT I AM" I yell again

"SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL YOU, SO I AM, IM TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT OKAY" he yelled back to me

"Stay out of my business, I don't want your help, if I did I would have asked but I'm not so just leave me be"

Jake stared at me shaking his head, scoffing at me as he stood there. He looked away and ran his hand through his hair, making eye contact with me once again.

"Fine I'll stay out of your business but I'm not letting people sell to you, you want stuff then have fun driving out of town and looking for someone, sucks because you don't have those connections outside of a twenty mile radius from here . You want me out of your business then don't come by my place, whatever Bianca"

I watched as Jake turned around and walked back into the house, I felt stupid watching him walk away, away from me. That kind of hurt but I did just tell him to leave me alone, tell him that I didn't need him in my life.

He was a great friend, an amazing guy despite how people think he is because he gave off that fuck you vibe. He was honestly so much more than that though, he didn't have hoe's with his big reputation, he was friends with everyone, he was the friend that stood by you and defended you after you do the dumbest shit.

He didn't deserve to always try to clean up my messes, leaving him alone was best anyways.