Pulled Back

Chapter 12

I just couldn't get rid of them now, they followed me home and they got themselves inside through a window that I know I had locked.

"Why can't you guys just leave me alone?" I groan "I want you to leave-"

"No! Bianca you are a mess, you aren't even opening up to us anymore and we want to help because crack or whatever kind of drug that is, isn't good for you" Leslie cried, she was balling her eyes out in the middle of the hallway, the back of her right hand slamming into her left palm making each word stand out more.

I swallow the thick knot that felt stuck in my throat, glaring at her but my heart beat faster then my ever as I look into her eyes that were glassy. I had felt fear before but nothing compared to right now as my best friend stood in front of me making me feel anxious, would they tell? what would happen? what is next, would they leave me? I would deserve it but it would still hurt.

"What I do isn't your business, why does everyone keep trying to fix my life!" I screamed at them.

Telling me what I shouldn't do, just like Jake but I don't care, I don't care about any of it, I just wanted to do my own thing in peace but no, I can't do it with everyone up my ass about it every second of the day.

I had problems with switching up, mood swings. I could feel something inside that was opposite of what I say or do.

"Talk to us, please Bianca, what's wrong? I want to know cause I want my friend back, I want her back I don't want this person" now Daniella started to cry while Vanessa just stared at me with anger in her eyes.

Looking at me like she did at any reminder of her father.

"Well this is who's left! This is all there is left of me and I'm still me, just the person who was hidden. I don't want the old me, always trying to satisfy everyone else"

I'd rather be the me now then the old one, although it lead to the me that was in pain, she was to nice to people who didn't deserve her and she was always doing what everyone expected. I don't want to be that person everyone comes to, that's too much pressure already, I don't want that responsibility anymore.

The way I'm handling things may suck but it's my way and I'm okay with it, cause it's easier to say no.

"No, Bianca it has control of you-"

"Stop talking, I don't want to talk about this, it's my life so leave it alone unless it's affecting you"

"It is effecting us, look at you, I didn't think much about it but look at yourself!" Vanessa snapped at me "You look like your slowly dying and that will effect me, you not being my friend again because of this is effecting me, but you've always been too stubborn to listen or let others help you when you need the help"

I lean against the table and shrug "I'm not talking to you guys about this"

Pushing myself up and walking towards the front door, "You guys can see yourself out"

"Where are you going?" Leslie sniffled

"Somewhere"

"Bianca!" She raised her voice and it cracked a little, the waver in her voice compelled me to turn around and look at her.

I turned to her seeing how glassy her eyes were, her facial features holding back more tears that I knew wanted to pour out of her and I didn't know what to say to her.

"Fine, I'm going somewhere and I'm going to smoke a joint or get drunk off my ass because that's what I want to do" they stared at me for a few seconds before Leslie responded