Pulled Back

Chapter 22

Stare was all I could do, the cars up front slowly moved as teens jumped out their parents cars and parents struggled to get out onto the road of more heavy traffic. Police and ambulances crowding the lanes just yards away from the school. No one was dead but the same couldn't be said for the three cars piled up.

I wait till I couldn't sit in the car anymore, unbuckling the seatbelt and stepping out onto the school grounds. I could remember so many great memories yet none of them could make me feel happy to be here. I grab my bag and shuffle forwards, walking pass the gawking eyes, feeling myself shrivel at the gaze.

I felt small, did I look bad or were people still gossiping about my shitty 'incident'. It was old news already, people need to get over my issues.

I stop a front of my locker, twisting the knob to unlock it, I felt sick.

The eyes were too much at some point, I don't know how but at a point I found myself in the bathroom, like a blank moment in my mind, I didn't recall ever moving from my locker. Yet here I was at on my knees hurling into the toilet, everything about it disgust me, the dirty floors, the tan stall walls covered in black sharpie, the grout that was darker then should be, the toilet paper holder that got stuck and only gave you one piece at a time.

It all made me sick to my stomach.

There were insults about every one in these bathrooms, big or small, popular or not, strong and feared, weak and sad. The stalls were the equivalent to Regina George's burn book except without the pictures.

I saw my own name on the wall, Bianca Bailey is an attention whore It read.

I picked myself up, flushing the toilet with my foot, and washing my hands.

I dig the phone out of my pocket and made a decision, one I knew I would regret but anything was better then being here.

I walked out of the back exit and through the bushes, a trail teachers didn't know about, we just called it shortcuts. Basic.

I tapped my fingers on the back of the case, wondering if I should touch the mobile icon or not. Seeing the school shrink as I pace away and towards it. Hearing the bell blare as a signal of students to get to class.

I pressed the call button and put the phone to my ear, waiting, hoping that it would just keeping ringing so I would snap out of this daze I was in.

"Hello" he answered

"I'm sorry" I was quick to apologize even though I felt I did nothing wrong, I just wanted to be back in his good graces.

"What the fuck you want? Told your daddy I hurt you, did you tell him the fuck up shit you did too, you tell him that you were out being a fucking whore passing out pussy" Julian was quick to snap.

"I didn't tell him anything, he's out of town... I'm sorry babe, can you pick me up" my eyes shut as I wait, wait for him to yell at me, wait for him to insult me.

"Your just trying to set me up-"

"My dads out of town, my grandmother is driving back home because she forgot something and my friends think I'm at home being sad" I knew I had to bring out the big guns "I miss you Julian" and I wish the next part was a lie "I love you"

"Your lying to me again" he accused

"I'm not! If I'm lying then... you can tell the police I'm on drugs, you can call me a bitch, I'll leave you alone, just please come pick me up"

I know I should have lost his number the second I got a phone back but like how he was branded into my brain so was everything about him. He could truly be a good guy, he's the only guy that seems to want me.

"Where you at" I could almost hear his smirk and I knew I was in for some shit.

"I'm walking to orange street, how fast can you get here?"

"I'm around, be there in ten" he hung up on me and I sighed, now I was stuck with a new decision, go to orange street and wait on the secluded corner or walk back to the school and myself to class.

I looked back at the school and walked away from it, almost running when I made it there and saw him waiting, his car parked, the engine running, the street was empty. I walked to the door, opening it and sliding in against my better judgment. He stared at me and I stared back.

"Where were you? I was fucking waiting for five minutes"

"You said ten minutes" I defended myself "I didn't think you would be early, I was walking as fast as I could"

He smiled and his hand tangled into my hair, pulling my head closer to his lips, and it's been a while since I did anything involving physical touch.

"I missed you baby" he kissed my face, his hand on my thigh, squeezing and rubbing it.

I couldn't stop myself and he was the one who pulled away. Laughing as he grabbed me my seatbelt.

But I let it slide back and away from me, Julian didn't complain one bit even if he passed it to me, he just offered it to be nice.

I doubt it would last long though.

I reach for his hand, holding it to mine, I wanted to feel that bit of affection and I wanted to feel it from him for some reason. Sadly a part of me was in love with him, the lonely, desperate, loving side of me, Julian's sober state always had a hold on me.

I kissed the back of his hand.

He let my hand go and pulled open the glove compartment as he drove away, not taking precautions as he went 45 in a thirty and dug around for something. I just stayed out of his way, letting my chair slide back to give him room to search.

He passed me a johns and lighter.

"Light it" he told me and I did so, lighting it and holding it to his lips for him. Basking in the smile he had towards me, loving the sweet attention he gave. Leaning into his arm waiting for that nod until he gave it to me, I took one long deep drag of the joint, cracking my window as the AC blew and only released that smoke when I started to choke on it.

We were halfway to his place but I didn't think we would be going there, we were stoned before half the drive was up and much to others displeasure, we ended up on the side of the road having our own good time.

He didn't yell or complain when I said I needed him to take me back to school. He was fine with it, he was touchy but fine, it was like when I first met him. Those next few dates, so the question was, how long would his attitude last.

I was curious though, if I had never found out he did drugs, would he still be the sweet guy I thought he was? Or would I have still been getting beaten up by him.