Pulled Back

Chapter 20

Bianca's body shook every few minutes, her memories haunted her, a long sleepless night of reliving moments spent with Julian.

Bianca mixed the Mac and cheese, her lip trembling as she felt as though she would cry at any second. Her body, especially her eyelids were heavy yet she couldn't bring herself to shut them, scared that in the dark Julian would slip into her vulnerable mind. Not now she thought, she felt so weak.

• • • • •

Bianca lay in Julians bed staring at his back, her face bare of emotion as she watched him breath in the smoke collecting in his pipe, his secret out or him done with hiding it from her, pulled it out and took hits like there was no tomorrow.

Eyes tracing every inch of his back and watching as his head fell back in relaxation. She didn't want to say anything, afraid she would break his good mood.

She wanted to go home and break it off now but she was scared of his reaction, scared she would end up like the man from yesterday. Thinking she could look past it, forgiving him as he kissed and apologized to her, telling her he could be better and that he would get help.

She realized that he lied.

She though thoroughly as she planned her next words carefully, sitting up in the bed and pushing the blanket off of her. The movement making Julian to turn back and look at her. She chickened out.

"I think I'm ready to go home, I have to finish something's for my mom, she wanted me to send her the paper work she left in her office by accident"

Julian worked fast, she didn't think his brain could think at the rate he just did and have time to accuse her within the second.

"You going to go fuck somebody else, your lying to me aren't you? Who is it?" He laid the lighter and pipe down and walked to the side of the bed, his head falling between her neck and head, hand around his neck "Who are you going to go see? TELL ME!"

Bianca shook her head and clawed at his hand, choking out her words.

"I'm joking, I'm joking, I didn't want to leave... I just wanted you to pay attention to me" the lie slipped out easily but he didn't believe it.

"Your lying Bianca" he squeezed harder

She had no idea what to say this time, she shook her head rapidly as she was running out of breath.

"I love you" she spit out and he released her from his grip with a smile that no longer made her joyful, she get sickened.

He kissed her and she let it happen, not fighting it, scared of what he could do to her until his hand reached down to the buttons on her jeans. She shoved his hand away and sat straight against the headboard.

She looked to him nervously and her fear was only increased, his hand clenched around her thigh and he slapped her again.

"You don't get to push me away after you say you love me... unless you were lying again, I bet you say that to everyone, like a fucking whore" he said to her and although she was lying today, if she said it two days ago it would have been true.