Pulled Back

Chapter 3

My head pound as I woke up with yet again another headache, banging and banging over and over again it felt unbearable today, slowly pulling myself up to a sitting position in my bed, leaning forwards I rub the temples of my forehead in attempt to soothe the pain my growing migraine was causing.

Looking around my room I felt disgusted and ashamed, how could I even fall asleep in this filth, knowing that it was right next to me and some areas giving off gag worthy smells. I could only feel disappointed in myself, the person who I was two months ago would never step foot into this room let alone socialize with someone who owned it, I was an organized and clean person but right now I can confirm that that person was no longer present.

I was due a very long cleaning but I didn't feel like I had it in me, I wanted nothing but to sit in bed and sleep, not go on my phone or watch a movie in bed, I just wanted to stare at the ceiling and sleep. I doubt my mind would let me be at peace for even a second, hooded, red, narrow eyes as I stood up staring at the floor. The constant ringing of my cell phone giving me motivation to stand and grab it, not to answer or check what it was but just to shut it up.

My valanced reminder filled with information on Leslies flight showing up, guilt pulling down on me but I was in no shape to be picking her up, I was at an unhealthily low weight right now and I couldn't even bring my lips into a fake smile, I wanted to drop right in my place, peace.

Picking up my phone I searched on for Leslies contact number, hesitantly hovering over the call button of my best friends contact, rapping on it and placing it on speaker I stepped away, crossing my arms and hitting at a nail on my right finger out of nervousness. Nervous to speak to my friend who's calls I sometimes didn't answer when I was too far gone.

Picking up the phone I walk out of my room, walking down the stairs and taking in the decoration of the empty house, empty of joy or laughter, of emotion. The same clothes I wore from last night right on my skin, I reach behind to dig my shorts out before it got too far gone. I wasn't sure if you could even call them shorts, they were like underwear if anything, they rode up to far and showed off too much legs and thigh, ass cheeks hanging out from the bottom but that's how bad decision me liked it, whorish looking.

At least then would the insults match me.

"Hey bee" Leslie squealed as she picked up "I can't wait to see you today, I called the others earlier and we set up a time to go down to the lake, late night dip, I know you always enjoy those"

I couldn't even bring myself to smile and that sickened me, I hadn't seen my best friend in two months and I couldn't even feel the slightest bit happy. The thought of being with my friends itself was something I would be grinning at but I didn't feel my lips even twitching, the weights on my shoulders as heavy on my ability to show emotions.

"Hi Les, I'm actually not feeling well, I was planning on sleeping most of the day, try to get some energy but I hope you guys have fun"

I knew Leslie was sad to hear that, it pulled on my heart more knowing she was so sensitive, and my little lie would make her feel disappointed but I couldn't bring myself to talk to her, to tell her some things, to tell her the truth that I didn't have the energy to socialize.

"We can cancel the night swim then, we only planned it because all wanted to get with you and do something you liked that we could do at night. We'll come over to your place and hang out there instead, cook you some chicken noodle soup and watch a movie" Leslie tried to compromise with me.

My shy and adorable best friend who was trying to find some way to spend time with the people she missed most, I shouldn't be in that list, I missed her but right now I didn't want her around me, and it didn't feel right to be calling myself her friend when I won't even hand out with her.