Pulled Back

Chapter 17

I lay in bed another day, the other rooms in the house finally put to use again. A light coming from my mothers old office again and the halls fill with the sound of my fathers voice as he speaks with lawyers from his old firm. My father was speaking to Simone, a buddy of his who's trying to help him identify and bring in Julian, my brother didn't want to leave but he had classes that weren't going to wait for him, and my friends also had school so off they also went.

I wasn't allowed to leave the house, not that I had any motivation to even get out of bed.

I kept freezing up, zoning out every five minutes, not to mention the nightmares I seem to kept getting, they just kept coming but I didn't scream, I didn't jump out of my sleep. My body was paralyzed until the nightmare was over, then I would feel all the sadness.

Through all of that though, Jake was my savior, not even in my dreams was there a time he wouldn't be the one by my side. I kind of wanted him to be by my side now to. Cringe to think, a crush who I thought could possibly be the one, a dumb thought.

I stood from my bed and for the first time in a week, I opened the door and walked out into the hall, making my way downstairs and into the kitchen where my dad was still talking to one of the lawyers or detective guys on my assault case that he filed. What fun he would have hunting down Julian. He was in my room with me, making sure I was fine and didn't need anything but he left to let me sleep while he spoke on the phone.

They were paying extra attention to me, it felt weird that they were working together, it wasn't the usual passing back and forth.

They were all over me twenty-four-seven, always checking on me, always trying to feed me, it was a never-ending loop. Don't get me wrong I loved having them here with me, taking care of me, not fighting but there is a thing called too much attention and they were giving me it.

I took an apple from the fruit basket and ignored everything happening around me, pulling out a cutting board and knife, I preferred to slice my apples and eat them with peanut butter so that's what I was planning to do.

I look up for one second to see my father opening his laptop, turning his back towards me while clicking on different tabs on his computer, reading documents that were emailed to him from said law firm. I look away from him and back down to my hands that were bleeding, that's great. I couldn't feel any pain but there was a lot of blood, I stared at it for a couple of seconds and I was slightly happy that I was sad about my apple no longer being good. I guess that was a good sign seeing as I didn't care about food consumption for a while now, getting back into eating habits, looking up to my fathers back.

I look back down again and everything just felt off, the knife still in hand I look at my wrist, I didn't proceed to it but it was still a thought, then I snap back.

"Dad" I called looking up, my voice so soft it could have been a whisper but he heard me.

He nodded and turned back to just glance at me, before his gaze was fully back on the computer screen, he flung his head back towards me, hanging up and dropping everything he rushed my way grabbing paper towels and dabbing them on my hand.

"shit" he cursed lowly to himself trying to locate the cut.

On my left hand at the Base if my pointer finger was a gash in my skin, it went deep and had a flap revealing my bone.

"What happened?" my dad asked frantically while leading me to the kitchen sink "Does it hurt, how bad does it hurt from one to ten?"

"I looked away, three," I say watching the blood flow down the drain until my hand was fairly clean, then my dad had the paper towels back on.