Pulled Back

Chapter 15

I didn't want to leave, it was quiet, peaceful when I wasn't crying or yelling. I stayed there for more days than I planned. I didn't have a plan, I planned to get the hell out of the woods but that wasn't happening because I liked the quiet.

I had nothing to eat and stretched out three water bottles to drink for one whole week, yeah, I stayed out there for a whole week. It didn't help with my mental health but it made me feel better about nothing, reality check, not a damn thing did this help because the only answer I got to my problems was to hang myself out here and I had no rope.

I slept in the car for a week and I didn't move my car from that spot.

Why did I always get myself into situations, why did I always do that to myself, why did I always hurt myself. Sometimes I did it without even realizing it, I just want to be happy but the only thing I was taught in the past three months was that I keep myself from being happy, I ruin my own happiness.

But maybe I don't deserve happiness. Maybe I deserve all my baggage.

Sighing I was finally ready to leave, my throat was dry and it burned, it's been burning ever since last night.

Driving out of the woods I drove until I found a gas station and parked on the side of it, grabbing my bag from under my seat of the car and putting on the hoodie I try to hide my face with the hood. My legs looked freaky but there was nothing I could do about it.

I got out and I was thankful people didn't look at me, turning around for money and a fake ID before going back in.

I walked around grabbing a twelve-pack, wipes, some water, and after a long debate, I grabbed a bag of Doritos and Cheez-It's. Walking to the counter and placing them down, I hold the ID out.

He takes one look at it and looks at me weirdly, pulling the hoodie back a little to see my face he looks like he saw a ghost. Then it was like I saw a ghost, a missing poster of me taped and tacked into a brown board.

I look back to the guy and drop a ten-dollar bill, grabbing the water, ID, and the Doritos off the counter and rushing out.

"AY WAIT!" the cashier yelled but I just ran.

Getting in the car and driving away. Were people looking for me? Who called it in? Why did someone call it in and was I in trouble for something?

I drove back to Zeke's and ran in quickly. Paranoia crept up on me and I thought the cops were out to get me, slamming the door shut and rushing to close curtains, everyone turning to look at me, Zeke looking relieved. Standing and rushing around to hug me.

Then he pulled away and everyone just stared at me again.

"Where have you been!?" he shouted and scolded, automatically that made my face drop in annoyance.

"Play hide-n-go seek with Jason " I answer

He stepped backs and made a face at me "Who? What?" that one emoji thinking face without the hand

"I was parked in the middle of the woods for the past days, and then I went to a gas station and saw my face on a missing poster" I cross my arms and allow myself to take a deep breath "Are they gonna arrest me?"

"Dude" Carl laughed "You were on the missing people channel, and there's a warrant for Julian's arrest on the news, they put a video of what happened in your living room with Julian, I don't know how the hell you got up after though" Carl smiled as he said the warrant part but when it came to the video part he looked angry.

"There's a video of what!?" I shout, my breaths coming out shaky as my mind ran wild of the endless possibilities.

"Did you not know your parents had cameras in there, they are looking for you and Julian, that bitch is going to jail then he's going to be someone else's bitch" Carl snorted

I froze up and looked towards Carl.

It was happening again, my body felt weak and my legs buckled under me, dropping to the ground my chest pounded with my heartbeat, my breath out of control.

I knew who was in the room but all I could see were figures now, just a blur of people surrounding me. It was freaking me out more not knowing who was who or what was happening.

"What's up?" Someone said "Bianca?"

A hand touch me and wrapped around me, soft shushing in my ear, I couldn't help but cry.

"It's okay Bianca, breath, slowly" Again I was lost yet I knew exactly were I was, panic spreading in me, I wanted the feeling to go away, I cried then for it to go away while leaning into a pair of arms.

I felt like I wasn't breathing, I couldn't tell you how long that fit lasted but it felt like forever when I'm reality it was a few minutes. Slowly I was sinking back into reality, the control of my body coming back with time.

I turn and look to my side, more shame washing over me as I see Jake, the guy who always defends me and showed he cared. I push him away, I'm pathetic.

Now the whole town knows that because of that stupid video, what are people going to think of me, Julian was twenty-three, or maybe twenty-four, I'm not even really sure.

My mom is home, that's just great.

Then it hit me, my mom is home, in the house, and she could have gone into my room. Would she try to open it if the door was locked?

I rush to stand up but fall on my face.

"Bianca slow down, what are you doing?" Jake Asked pulling me back and sitting me on a chair

"I got to get home, now, I got to go now" I rush out trying to stand

"Take it easy, you're not going to drive right now, If you get another one of those panic attacks you could get into an actual accident" he scolded me

"I had a what?"

"A panic attack, you need to rest or something-"

"No, I need to get home, now"

Jake stood in front of me and refused to let me get up "Bianca where have you been?" he whispered softly

I stayed quiet, I don't know why, I just don't want to talk.

"I'll drive you home and Zeke will drive behind us with your car" I nod taking his hand to help me stand

Something is wrong with me, poor Jake always coming to the rescue and me being the bitch telling him to go away every second of the day.

He helped me into his car and I turn to just look at him when he got into the driver's seat, he was an amazing guy, even when he was drunk or angry if you were someone he cared about then you were his first priority, the last thing he thought about was a one-night stand.

"I'm sorry Jake" he hummed but he looked like he didn't believe a word I said "I'm sorry you're always left to take care of me, thank you"

He turned to me and his arm began to rise slowly, his hand was inches from my cheek but then he paused and pulled his hand back to the wheel. Disappointment setting over me when his hand doesn't touch me with the gentleness I knew it would, his rough hands not pushing my messed up hair out of my face, nothing.

"Your welcome"