Unlasting

Adrian

Following Brie into her room was the most intense I have ever been and I had been in many intense situations before. I stepped into her room and it felt strange like I was there for the first time. Last time I was in here, we couldn't get our hands off each other, now we were seated worlds apart, instead of sharing a kiss, we shared silence.

I occupied her reading chair as she sat on her bed, her gaze avoiding mine. I waited for her to say something or at least ask me a question, but she kept mute, avoiding eye contact, maybe for fear that her pain was palpable, but she didn't have to hide anything. I was hurting and I knew she was too.

"I'll tell you anything you want to know. Just ask."

If eyes could kill I'd be six feet under already.

"I trusted you enough to tell you everything about myself.  Why did you lie to me?"

"It's complicated Brie."

"Then uncomplicate it," she yelled.

"That's what I want to do too but it's hard. I love you and I'm afraid if I tell you everything, I might lose you."

She turns away from me.

"If you loved me you would have never lied to me. You asked for a chance to come clean, and that's what this is. Don't mistake it for an opportunity to declare your love." She snapped.

I've never heard Brie sound so spiteful before and me being the cause of this side of her coming alive made me hate myself even more.

"I'll tell you everything but please don't hate me Brie. That's all I'm asking."

"First of all, you should know that I'm acquainted with your step father and he sent me here from New Jersey to get you to go back home and to help you and your mom cope with his absence. The truth is I volunteered to do this when he told me the situation your family was in, and the reason I volunteered is..."

"I don't know if you've noticed but we aren't in a situation where you get to have a dramatic pause or a moment. Spit it out or get out, I don't care."

"I want to tell you Brie, I really do, but you hate me so much right now I can't afford you hating me more cause then I'll lose you forever."

"Adrian, if you won't tell me, then it's best you leave." She gets up to open her door but I put my hand over hers to stop her, she removes my hands from hers like I had the flu and her life depended on how well she could avoid me.

"Sit. I'll tell you everything."

"On the night of Jan 4th, I found my girlfriend in bed with my best friend and I was furious and hurt. I drove my bike out in anger, and in my unstable state I forgot to use my mirrors and just kept speeding ahead... There was an accident. I was comatose for days." Brie gasped.

She was mad at me yet she still cared what happens or happened to me. I wish she could remember this after she hears the whole story.

"I woke up one week later and was told someone had died in the accident but no one was pressing charges. I wasn't myself for a while after coming out from coma, when I was strong enough, two weeks later, I went to look for the guardian of the child that had died in the accident...  that's when I met Kevin."

My chest felt tight as I saw tears roll down Brie's face. I shed a few tears of my own and I realized I wasn't over feeling guilty about that night. It was hard to breath as words my father had said came rushing back.

It may have been an accident but he killed someone.

"You're joking right? My Joshua couldn't have been that child right?" Brie's voice brought me back from the guilt trap that is my mind. "No... he... Joshua couldn't... my little brother... No..." she cried stammering her way to realization. I rushed to hold her but she pushed me away.

***
Brianna

"You killed my little brother..." I stand so fast as realization dawns on me.

"No, Brie. I didn't mean for the accident to happen. I'm so sorry Brie. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." Adrian knelt on the ground crying, and if my pain didn't encompass me I'd have hugged him and told him everything would be alright, except nothing is ever going to be the same again. My brother had been dead for months and neither I or my mother was told. We couldn't even get to say goodbye.

"Mom, what would mom do if she found out?"

"You can't tell her Brie. Please. Not for my sake but for hers."

"Where is it okay to hide the death of a child from his mother?"

"We're not hiding it. Kevin said he'd tell her but he needs time. He feels so guilty that's why he hasn't come back. He asked me to take care of you and your mom till he is confident enough to face her."

"Brie, your mom needs him now more than ever. If she finds out about this and he isn't here, only God knows what she would do?"

"What she would do? Like throw you in prison for killing her son, right? Oh my god... That's what you're so scared of, isn't it? That's why you lived next door to her, drank with her and take care of her yet never saying anything about the fact that you had killed her son?"

Adrian looked genuinely hurt, but when I looked in his eyes it told me he understood why I was saying all this, and he wasn't going to hold it against me.

"You know I'm not that kind of person Brie. Tell me you still believe I'm a good person? Tell me you know I could never be so devious." He grovelled to where I stood, holding my hands, he looked up to my face.

"I regret everything that happened that night. I agreed to take care of the both of you until he came back as penance for that night. There's no hidden agendas to my actions. Tell me you believe me Brie, please."

I remove his hands from mine "I'm sorry Adrian but all I see right now is the man who killed my brother. Please go."

"Brie..."

"Go away Adrian." I yelled. "Please. Just go."

He got up, wiping his eyes, a painful expression on his face as he walks out. A part of me hopes that he turns back and looks at me, but when he doesn't, another part of me is elated though still aching.

I want to kiss his pain away but how do I ignore mine and that of my mothers. This is the man I've come to love like my life depended on it, three months later and he became the man that caused the accident that killed my little brother, and I can't look at him the same way. After everything my mother did to make sure I didn't end up with the wrong man, I fell in love with the one man that my mother would never forgive.

"Ahhhhh," I scream making Rachael rush into the room, confusion registered on her face.