Let Me Carry You (Carry You Home)

5: Awakening

AN: One small note; I've changed Sarah's age from 13 to 12!


It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you can feel it's everything you want.

Carina and Maya sat in Sarah's room, taking the time that they needed to process everything that had happened. They were going to fight for this girl; they wanted to be a part of her life, her ever-changing, trauma-riddled life. Maya and Carina just hoped that through all of their big gestures and feelings, Sarah would feel the same, because it was her future just as much as it was theirs.

Of course, them just agreeing to foster Sarah was just the beginning. They still needed to submit an application, meet with a social worker, submit references...

All of that as well as having a further, deeper, more concrete conversation about what it would mean if they got approved, because bringing a child into their lives meant more than just saying yes. It meant solidifying their support system, being mentally prepared for helping Sarah through her trauma, being patient, being okay with potentially saying goodbye to her alongside ensuring that their home was a good environment...

It was a monumental task, but the more Maya and Carina talked about it, the more they felt it was worth it.

As soon as Sarah had stabilized in surgery, April Kepner had to make the call to CPS, to which April was promised that a social worker would be sent to the hospital to start to put the next steps in motion.

While she and Carina had the time, Maya explained what she was feeling, how the second that she saw Sarah, something in her heart shifted. And when Maya broke her own rules and hugged her? She couldn't deny how right it felt. She didn't know why and was still confused about how strongly she cared, but Carina listened patiently to Maya's confession, letting her girlfriend express herself, and Carina was quiet.

Despite the fact that this was the first time Maya had vocalized said feelings, Carina had seen them for herself. She saw the devastation within Maya after the call, and the sadness that lingered in the weeks that followed, along with the handful of nightmares where Carina awoke to Maya screaming Sarah's name. She hated herself for it, but Carina felt nervous. In just two years of reconciliation after a brief-breakup, they were adding a child into their life. A child was a massive step. And not just any child; one who was grieving, recovering from emergency surgery, and needed a lot of tender, loving care.

Were they ready for a child? What if something like their breakup happened again?

How would they navigate this?

Upon probing from Maya, Carina expressed her fears, and Maya took it in stride. Carina despised how guilt flashed in Maya's eyes after the confession, but Maya assured Carina that what she said that day by the coffee cart was true.

"Am I supposed to trust you?"

"I don't know... But I'll spend every day trying to convince you to,"

Sarah still hadn't woken up from her emergency surgery almost three hours after she was wheeled back from recovery, but both a worried Carina and Maya were repeatedly reassured that this was normal, especially given the circumstances.

"If she hasn't been eating or sleeping properly, and due to her injuries, it's perfectly okay that she hasn't woken up yet. Her body has been through extreme stress, and it needs that rest. It'll take that extra time to heal," Meredith stated as she checked Sarah's vitals and adjusted her IV bag.

Given that they had a lot to do if they wanted to foster Sarah, Maya and Carina dedicated the next several hours to completing the necessary documentation needed to complete their official application. Their references, Miranda Bailey, Teddy Altman and Meredith Grey, took the time to finish their recommendations to add to Maya and Carina's file. Carina ducked into her office to print any possible documentation that the social worker may need after they made the offer to foster her.