Let Me Carry You (Carry You Home)

7: The Space Between Life & Death

Snow was pounding against the windshield. The snowstorm that had been promised nearly a week earlier was finally slamming into Seattle, and the roads were absolutely horrendous. For January, this weather was brutal. Celine Dion on the red minivan's radio was inaudible through the shouting and the howling wind outside.

"You're being a fucking brat! You're lucky we're attending the game at all!" A man shouted.

"And you're being a bully!" The indignant voice of a twelve-year-old girl replied.

"Sarah Elisha Griffin, you shut your goddamned mouth! You do not speak to us that way, not now, not ever! You know better than to act all smart and righteous!" A woman snapped back angrily.

"No fighting, please," A whimpered voice came from a little girl, her mitten-clad hands clapped over her small ears.

Fighting wasn't uncommon for this particular family. Emotions were shoved down until they came exploding out of their hosts in cruel, vicious ways, and everyone suffered for it. Abusive behaviours were learnt by their elders, and the children suffered from them greatly. Bruises were hidden by clothing, lessons were dealt out in beatings. But despite all of this, the children loved their parents. They weren't always mean. Love was complicated that way.

"No more. Please," The littlest girl whispered, taking the hand of her red-haired big sister, who sighed as if the weight of the world was on her chest. Regardless, she took her younger sister's hand in hers, squeezing it tightly.

"Okay," The teenager promised. They both knew what would happen when they got home. What punishments would await them if this continued any further. So, swallowing her frustration, the teenager leaned back in her seat, still clutching her little sister's hand.

A terrified scream cut the minute-long break of silence. "James! Look out!"

More screaming. A car's horn was tearing into their ears. Bright lights carved into everyone's eyes.

And with the impact of a rocket, there was a horrifically, world-shattering boom.

Then nothing but blackness. But cutting into the paralyzing darkness was a gurgling cough. A quiet plead.

"Sissy... Please... Help... Me..."

Yet, there was no help. No help that could bring the mitten-clad, angelic little girl back to life.

———

Sarah woke up screaming from a nightmare.

Any and all memories of the car crash haunted Sarah's very soul, causing an ache that could and would not be tempered. She could not take back her words to her parents, undo the rage that she'd thrown at them that night, because they were dead . They were likely buried in the ground, but the worst part was, Sarah didn't know. She'd run away from the accident, run until her legs couldn't sustain her any longer, and hid. She had hidden until she found the strength to return to her home, where no one lived, and watch herself waste away on the floor until she couldn't take living any longer, and tried to end her own life.

As she took in the sights around her, a darkened hospital room, quiet except for her, Sarah was puzzled, because oddly enough, no one was there.

Someone was always there to smile, to comfort her, to wrap her up with love that made her feel drunk on it. Maya and Carina had explained that they'd created a schedule so that someone was always with Sarah, and despite that, no one was here. Something about the vividness of this nightmare and all the complicated, horrifying feelings it brought, was the worst one yet.