Let Me Carry You (Carry You Home)

15: Pre-Teen Mistakes

As the weeks passed, their actions from that night became a practiced routine. Every single time Maya was called in for a five alarm fire, Carina and Sarah would have a girls night and a sleepover to ease each other's anxiety. Based on the success of the first time they did it, both Carina and Sarah agreed that it would be the system that worked best for all of them, and they got through the difficult nights together. That was how they got through life, Maya said. Leaning on one another.

The truth was that Sarah had quickly begun to depend on her foster moms. How was it possible to be this enamoured, to feel this admiration and love for someone like Sarah felt for Maya and Carina? She wasn't sure, but she loved them more than words could express. She loved how kind they were, how generous and passionate they felt to help people, not just her, she loved how quick they were to soothe, how dedicated they were... There were truly so many things that Sarah adored about her foster moms.

Sarah was learning to have a life that wasn't just survival, but filled with joy. She cherished each and every memory that she had with Maya and Carina; from cooking with Carina, to going on walks with Maya, to their family movie nights, to board games that ended in laughs and loss, to going downtown to the Italian market, to their self-care days... All of it.

Life had gone from living in fear of physical punishments, hiding from tempers and taking blame to defend her little sister, to being cherished like she was the greatest thing that the world could offer. It felt weird to admit, but the accident had brought them into her lives. Sarah would do anything for it to have not happened, but it brought two of the greatest people Sarah had ever known into her circle, and without Maya or Carina... Sarah wouldn't know what to do. Sarah still missed her family like a persistent, throbbing ache in her heart, but this new family... It was fantastic. Carina and Maya were Sarah's heart and soul, and she knew that no matter how long they were in her life, they would always hold that special place within her.

As time went on, Sarah settled into some sort of normalcy. She talked regularly with Doctor Ryan, who helped her feel more at peace, and worked with Doctor Ramirez to get her health back to normal. Her friends continued to be her pillar, her true north, and she hung out with them more and more. Maya and Carina were more than willing to have them over, and by the end, all of Sarah's friends were just as impressed with Sarah's foster moms as Sarah was.

School was proving to be a bit of a challenge, as Sarah was still playing catch up, but working diligently to make up for what she had missed. Through it all, Sarah rediscovered her love to learn, and after school each day, Sarah would come to either the station or the hospital, and promptly bury her head in more work.

Maya was thoroughly impressed by Sarah's dedication to her school work, and after having to unstick books from Sarah's cheek after she'd fallen asleep reading at the table, reminded Sarah that taking breaks was perfectly alright, something that pre-therapy Maya would have never dreamt of doing. Carina nearly wept hearing that, but Maya never realized the gravitational impact of what she'd said; of how far she'd truly come.

Both Maya and Carina sat alongside Sarah while she worked, and tried to follow along with what she was doing. Maya was exasperated by relearning 'new math', and gave up all together once they began discussing more technical terms like vectors and differential equations. Carina on the other hand, got the hang of it pretty quickly, and when Sarah was stumped on a concept, Carina could always offer a gentle explanation to help clear up her confusion.

Yet, through it all, Sarah had Maya and Carina, who spared no expense to make Sarah feel comfortable. When they found out that her parents never bothered with family outings, they created a bucket list of things to do with Sarah, including taking her to the aquarium, going to the observatory, feeding birds... They may have felt like little things to Maya and Carina, but to Sarah, it felt monumental.