It's You 18+

Twelve

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What if I actually like Ry, like... fancy him?

Oh god...

"It's always been Isobel Spice." I hear the video say and I feel those butterflies, exact same feeling, just like I did when he said it right there in the canteen.

I close my eyes and I feel him tense under me.

"Bella?" I hear him say and I gulp, my mouth suddenly dry.

I sit up slowly, his hands move with my body.

He puts his phone on the side.

I see it, the chemistry between us that was missing between Sarah and Will. It's so clear.

Me and Ry, we like each other?

"Why did you say those things to me Ryder? Was it.. just the bet?"

I can't look at him. I won't. I can't. Once I see those perfect green eyes I'll be putty in his hands.

"Isobel. Look at me. Senti tesoro..."

I give in and meet his eyes.

"I can't hide my feelings any more. I'm sorry. I like you Bella. I really like you."

I stare into his beautiful eyes.
I don't know what to say. What to do?

Ryder like me? He wasn't lying?

"Ry.." I start quietly, but my mouths too dry. I roll my lips in my mouth.

"It's ok, process Bella, I can see your mind running a mile a minute," his words are soft, his eyes dance around my features.

His hand comes up and strokes my face gently. I lean into his palm, letting my eyes close while I take a breath and a moment for my thoughts to calm themselves.

I don't know what to think!
I like him too right? I mean, I think so.
But this is all so new?
I always saw him as my friend, always. The soft Ryder, he's my best friend. Always here for me.

The other Ryder, player Ryder... I can't ignore that side of him.
If I was to over look it without hesitation I'd be naive and just asking to be hurt.

"You sure Ry?" My voice is so quiet I don't know if he hears me.

He nods, his smile so genuine.

"Bella I've liked you for the longest time. Please, you don't have to say you like me back, but tell me if that's ok? I don't want to lose you? That's why I haven't told you sooner." 

I nod and let the words sink in.

"I don't want to lose you either... I can't bare it." I squeak out, my mouth suddenly too dry. I gulp and squeeze my eyes shut.

The idea of trying to sleep without me scares me to the core.

"Hey, hey, it's ok.." he soothes quietly and holds me close, my face hidden in his hoodie. It smells of him, it's the most comforting smell I know.

I feel my chest tightening. How didn't I see this before?

"Shh it's ok... I'm here baby... nothing to worry about... just breathe baby..."

He knows my body better than I do.
I'm having a panic attack.

"Breathe in Bella..." he instructs softly into my ear, pulling me back to look at my face. His hands cup my cheeks softly.