Let's Fall in Love at 17

Let's go on a date

And your hand I let go.
My world,
Retreating sunshine,
Silent snow.

***

Ashton drove slowly in his high state. I could tell he was being careful because of me, even though the roads were completely empty at this time of night. I appreciated the gesture nonetheless, what with his knuckles turning white from holding himself back from accelerating the car.

We reached my house at the same speed that I would've reached it if I were walking. I didn't point it out though. I was quiet for once, at a loss for words or my voice.

Ashton parked his car in front of the house.

That's odd, I thought finding the porch light still on which is usually turned off at this hour. I also didn't miss the spill of light from the bottom of the front door on the porch as Ashton began, "Ella..."

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer because I didn't trust my voice to come out normal. To come out without the emotions I was feeling. Instead I nodded my head, an indication that I was listening as my fingers fidgeted on my lap.

Ashton turned his body, his face had a new openness to it that I hadn't seen in the short time we had spent together.

"Why don't you consider... and I'm not saying this because I would want that with you. I just want your mind off these things for a while, at least until you can decide what you want. And besides it's just gonna be onc-"

"Get to the point Ashton." I whispered, my eyes flicking to the door of my house.

"Go out with me. Tomorrow. On a totally platonic date." He rambled, his hands moving nervously in front of him.

At that I looked up, my face breaking out into a smile like cool wind blowing over dried grass on a hot day, "You just asked me out."

"Yes." He unhesitatingly stated. But I... I felt nothing of what I should have felt. A guy that I was fine with (meaning I didn't want to punch him as soon as the words left his mouth) was asking me out but it didn't excite me as it should have, instead my smile turned solemn and I nodded at him.

"Platonic. That's it. That's why I'm saying yes." And I gave him my number, thanked him for dropping me off and carried myself to the front door and...

And heard whispers. Whispers I did not want to hear right now. Voices that I would rather not hear when I felt as I did. Or should I say a voice. A voice that broke my heart, putting cracks in it like an earthquake shaking the ground and bringing buildings on buildings down.

The bad. The bold. The beautiful. I took a deep breath, regained my composure, plastered a smile on my face hiding, if not mending, the cracks in my heart and stepped inside.

And there he was.

Romeo Gibson sitting on a couch in my living room, talking with Dad. As the door opened, both of them looked up. I looked directly at my dad, my eyes questioningly boring into his. He raised both his hands in defense and sighing picked up his glass of water and left the room, his footsteps thudding on the quiet floor.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my nostrils flaring as I stared down at Romeo who, without bother, was still sitting on the couch with a glass of water raised halfway to his mouth.

At my question he lowered the glass and stood up, his body too close to mine. Close enough that I had to look into his eyes. I couldn't help it. This time though... this time I forced myself to shut out the ocean in them. The feelings.