not in the same way || c.h.

36

I woke up this morning to an empty bed. I don't know where Calum could've gone, he didn't say he was going anywhere last night. It was about 10 am so I figured maybe he was out in the kitchen eating or something.

"Hey Ken, do you know where Calum is?" I asked since he wasn't in the kitchen and didn't seem to be in the living room either.

"I haven't seen him, I thought he was still sleeping." She said and shrugged her shoulders. I just hummed in confusion and sat down next to her on the couch.

We talked for most of the day and Facetimed Avery and Zoe to make plans with them this week. Kendall left at around 4 because she was going on a date with Michael. So that left me alone for a little while since Calum wasn't here still.

I heard the door start to open and eventually saw Calum walk through casually.

"Where have you been all day?" I asked and tried to sound as casual as possible even though I was super suspicious.

"I was just upstairs with the boys to figure this thing out." He said and came over to sit down next to me. The second he sat next to me an intense scent of perfume filled my nostrils, and it wasn't a good smell either. So obviously it wasn't mine. I looked over at him as he rested his arm on the couch behind me and saw a bunch of hickeys on his right collarbone. Those were not there last night I know that for a fucking fact.

"You wanna answer that question again?" I asked and moved away from him.

"What?" He asked in confusion and looked over at me.

"Do you want to answer that question again?" I asked with sternness in my voice and crossed my arms over my chest.

"No?" He questioned and furrowed his eyebrows together.

"So one of the boys left those hickeys? And left their perfume scent all over you?" I asked and stood up from the couch. His eyes slightly widened and he took a minute to think of some sort of response.

"The hickeys are from you and so is the perfume." He said which made me scoff and walk into my room. I grabbed all three of my perfumes off my shelf in my room and brought them out to him. I forced him to smell every single one and then smell his shirt. I knew damn well that that was not my perfume. One because it smelled terrible and two because I know my perfume scent perfectly.

"These don't smell like that, that smells like shit. And I know damn well those hickeys weren't there last night and they are certainly not from me. How fucking stupid do you think I am?" I yelled and threw my perfume bottles down on the recliner next to me. He didn't answer so I decided to just keep yelling at him.

"You have some nerve you know that right? You have sex with me last night, and then you fucking leave in the middle of the night to sleep with someone else. What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you really think I wouldn't notice? How can you sleep with someone else and come back here and fucking lie to me?" I yelled and felt my heart shatter in my chest as it all processed in my brain.

"All my stuff is here so it's not like I can't not come back." He said and stood up from the couch.

I just scoffed and shook my head at him before going to my room. On the way down the hall I took a bunch of boxes that he used to bring all of his stuff here so I could put it all back in. I threw all of his clothes in one box and threw everything else in the other ones. I didn't even care about being gentle, he didn't care about being gentle with my heart so who the fuck cares.

I picked up the first box and put it down outside of the apartment door while he just watched in confusion. I swear he was so detached with everything it was impossible.

"Get the fuck out of my apartment." I said after putting the last box down and making sure there was nothing else in here that belonged to him.

"Come on Brenna, she meant nothing to me I love you." He said and walked towards me.

"Fuck off. You love me when you want to have sex with me, don't act like I didn't notice that either." I said and walked away from him.

"That's not true Brenna." He said and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yes it is. Do you really think I'm that stupid? You never say you love me out of the blue and you never say it back after I do. You only say it before you want to have sex with me, that's it. I love you and you love me, but not in the same way. So get out and never come near me, never talk to me, and don't even think about looking at me either. You can delete my number too." I yelled and felt tears prick in my eyes.

"I have to keep you safe Brenna. There's still people out there that want to hurt you." He said and walked closer to me but I just pushed him away.

"Yeah well apparently your names been added to that list. I don't care if anyone tries to kill me anymore, as long as I never have to see your disgusting face ever again I'm all set." I said and pushed him out of my apartment and locked the door so he wouldn't come in.

  He was yelling for me and banging his fist against the door for at least five minutes. I just sat on the couch and stared at the door as I cried relentlessly. Once he left, or at least quieted down I broke out into sobs and started drowning myself in alcohol, like I always did when something went wrong.