not in the same way || c.h.

40

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Luke shouted as he walked towards me and Kendall.

"I brought her here. I found her in her apartment." I defended.

"Well now you can go. She's done with you hasn't she made that clear?" He said and got up in my face.

"I'm not going anywhere. I love her, I'm not just gonna leave her." I shouted back and stood up from my chair.

"What about that night you left her in the middle of the night for some other girl? Did you love her then? Probably not because you don't do that to someone you love." He yelled back and pushed his hand against my chest.

"Guys enough, we're in a hospital. Now is not the time, we'll talk about this later when she's okay." Avery said and stood between the two of us.

  The two of us glared at each other before they dragged Luke off to one end and Kendall had me sit down back where I was before. Kendall explained everything to them while I just sat there in my own miserable world.

  I needed her to be okay or else the guilt of every single thing would haunt me forever. I've done many bad things before but this was the absolute worst thing I've ever done. I need to make it up to her. I don't know how considering I fucked up pretty badly, but hopefully Kendall or someone will help me.

"She's in surgery now but she's looking pretty stable. We'll keep you updated but this might take a while." A nurse said and we all nodded in response. The others asked him some questions but I just sat and listened. I was in my own world until Luke started yelling at me again.

"This is all your fucking fault. If it wasn't for you she'd be fine right now and she'd still be with Cole. Cole is so much better for her than you'll ever be. You should've just left her alone." He said from across every else.

"Don't you think I fucking know that? Obviously I know this is my fault. Obviously I know that Cole is better for her. I don't need to hear any of this bullshit now, especially from you." I said and refused to make eye contact with him and just looked down at the floor.

  After hours and hours of waiting and arguing with Luke she was finally out of surgery. I guess they put her in a coma just so her organs and stuff can heal for a bit but we can still see her.

"You're not fucking coming in." Luke said and kept me from entering the room.

"Yes I am. I need to see her just as much as you do." I said and tried to push past him but he just pushed me back. I knew that I could kick his ass, but that wouldn't make anyone hate me any less. So even if I really wanted to, I fought the urge to.

"You have no right to be in that room. You're the reasons she's here in the first place." He said.

"Luke let him in. Stop the pointless arguments. She needs him, even if she doesn't think she does, and even if you think she doesn't." Zoe said and pulled him back so I could enter the room.

  I sort of stood in the corner of the room while they all talked to her. We didn't know if she could hear or feel us but that didn't stop them from talking to her or holding her hands.

  Once the sun started coming up they all left me alone with her. I sat next to her and held her hand the entire time. I knew that when she wakes up she'll never let me near her so I was going to be taking advantage of this for as long as I could.

"I know this entire thing is my fault. And I know that I should've left you alone when I first saw you but I couldn't. You're so beautiful Brenna, and I never told you that enough I know that. I know all the things I did wrong and the things I did right barely even compared to the wrong things, I know that too. I do love you Brenna, I know I had a terrible way of showing it but I do. I didn't know how to love you, and that was on me. But now I know and I'm hoping you'll give me another chance when you wake up." I said and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

  I sat there in her room the whole day. I constantly told her I was sorry and that I love her, I never let go of her hand, and I kept kissing her in different places on her face every now and then. She probably couldn't hear me, but I didn't care. I'll say it all again when she wakes up a million times if I have to. I'm not stopping till I get her back, that's all I know.