not in the same way || c.h.

37

"Brenna is everything okay? We heard yelling." Luke asked as him and Ashton walked through my door.

"Everything's fine, except it's not." I mumbled as they walked towards me on my large recliner chair.

"You're sobbing Bren." Luke said and handed me some tissues to wipe my face.

"Didn't Kendall just buy that yesterday?" Ashton asked and gestured to the half empty bottle of gin that was in my hand.

"I don't know." I slurred and took another large sip.

"What happened? Where's Calum?" Luke asked which only made me break out into another fit of sobs. They both looked down at me with concerned looks on their faces before climbing onto the recliner next to me. They held me in the middle of them and tried to calm me down so I'd stop sobbing.

"He didn't love me, you guys were right. You were right about everything." I said and tried to wipe my cheeks but there was no point.

"How do you know?" Ashton asked and rubbed my arms while Luke detangled my hair.

"He only ever said it before he had sex with me. He never said it any time before that." I said and took a long pause before working up the courage to say the rest.

"He was gone when I woke up this morning and was gone for most of the day. I asked where he was and he said he was upstairs with his friends but I didn't believe him the second he sat down next to me. He smelled like perfume, and it wasn't mine because it was disgusting and I smell good. Then I saw the hickeys on him and gave him another chance to tell me the truth but he just lied again. He said the hickeys were from me and the perfume was from me. So I made him smell my perfume to prove that it clearly wasn't mine." I said and felt a lump in my throat as I continued talking.

"He told me he loved me last night and then he had sex with me. Then he left in the middle of the night to go sleep with some other girl and then lied about it. I kicked him out, threw all of his stuff out, and told him to never talk to me again and to delete my number." I said and dropped the bottle in my lap and covered my face with my hands.

Not only was I embarrassed for defending him this entire time, but I was heartbroken. He didn't know how to love, and he told me that, but I just wanted to teach him.

  I wanted to be different for him because he was different for me.

"We're so sorry Brenna." Ashton said and kissed my temple.

"Was it me? Is it really that hard to love me?" I asked and looked between the two of them.

"No B it's not. It's not you at all, you're amazing. He's the problem, not you. One day you'll find someone that will love you and appreciate you the right way, not his way." Luke said and rubbed my arms and moved my hair away from my face.

"You're just a hopeless romantic, it's not your fault. You loved him and you wanted him to be able to love you so you stuck around in hopes that he would. It's not your fault. You just wanted to be loved the same way that you love." Ashton said sympathetically.

"I hate him. He ruined my life." I said and stared at the ground.

"No he didn't. You're heartbroken now but later on you'll forget about him." Ashton said and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"I could die because of him, and that's not me being dramatic. There are people that want me dead because I know about his life." I spat out, completely unintentionally by the way.

"I'm sorry what?" He asked with wide eyes.

"What did you get yourself into Brenna?" Luke asked with the same expression as Ashton.

"A fucking mess." I said and they forced me into telling them everything, so I did. I was drunk and could hardly control what I was thinking or saying.

"So that's why he moved in so soon?" Luke asked and I just nodded my head and stared at the floor.

"You'll be okay. Maybe we can call the police." He said while I rested my head on his chest.

"No you can't. That'll make it worse." I said forcefully and took another sip from the bottle and felt the burn as it slid down my throat.

"You can't live in fear for the rest of your life without protection." Ashton advised.

"I don't even care anymore. If it's my time it's my time." I mumbled which made them sigh.

"Don't think like that over an idiot. He's not worth it." Luke said.

"Whatever." I said and looked at the ground as I drank from the bottle.

"Bren there's better out there for you. Just because he's not for you doesn't mean you won't find what is." Ashton said as I got up from the recliner.

"Where are you going?" Luke asked.

"I'm going to throw up." I yelled and went to the bathroom down the hall and spilled my guts out. Ashton and Luke both followed me into the bathroom. Luke held my hair back while Ashton rubbed my back and kept me from falling in the toilet.

"Let's get you to bed." Luke said while the two of them picked me up and carried me to my bed.

"I love you guys." I said as they tucked me into bed.

"We love you too. We'll be here all night if you need anything." Ashton said and kissed my forehead while Luke did the same.