In Too Deep (A Stray Kids/GOT7 AMBW Fanfic)

Chapter 16

The day to pick Felix up from the airport came sooner rather later and I felt so unprepared. Netizens did what I expected and they ripped into me but the response wasn't as bad as I thought they would be. In fact, there were so many comments and tweets from black users that congratulated us, calling it a win for the community.

To be honest though, I wasn't happy. I wasn't mad or anything and I definitely felt better about the situation than I had previously, but none of that did a thing to calm the raging storm around my heart. The problem is I really like Felix but I still have love for Jackson, and the more days that pass, the more apparent it becomes to me.

Jackson tried texting me again after that night but I didn't actually answer him. My confused heart couldn't take more words from him and I could bring myself to read them to give him a response. It's not like he's begging for me to take him back but he wants to talk and I know that he knows how to make me cave and I can't afford for that to happen... because I have Felix.

"Oi!"

I almost jumped out of my skin. I was standing outside of my mother's car as I waited for Felix to exit the airport. The deep voice emerged from behind, scaring the holy hell out of me and I managed to accidentally pee on myself.

"Why would you do that?" I teared up. I turned around and faced the man who scared me.

"Shit, sorry Kimmie," Felix apologized, using his thumb to wipe my tears. "I forgot you were so sensitive. I tried calling out to you but you didn't answer me."

I sniffled and pulled back out of his grasp. "It's fine. I just got a lot on my mind." I looked back to see the trunk was open.

"You put your stuff in the trunk already?"

"No actually, I-" he started.

"Actually, I came along," interjected a beaming Bang Chan.

"You're joking," I said deadpanned.

"Afraid not. JYP said we need more videos and pictures. I told him you went home already and he told me to go to America since we're on a break from Kingdom," Chris explained.

"Make it even more complicated why don't you," I said aloud, hoping JYP could hear my disdain from across the water. I sighed heavily and after getting everything in the car, Chris came and gave me a big squeeze.

"We're gonna have fun, okay? So just breathe and take this new adventure one day at a time." I gave him a small nod and got into the driver's seat. The boys hopped in, Felix in the front and Channie in the back, and I pulled off. Felix grabbed my hand that I left resting on the gear shift, intertwining my hand with his.

I didn't say anything nor did I pull away. I was feeling terrible though. I felt like I was pulling away from him out of guilt and he didn't deserve that. I was so lucky in a sense. Even after finding out that he could potentially not be the father, he never switched up. Just as attentive as he was in the first place.

That's just a testament to the friendship we had developed during the early months of my pregnancy. I was barely paying attention as I drove us back to my house, remember those long days of winter's past.

Meeting Felix was so necessary. Not only because of the fact that I was lonely, physically, but because I was lonely mentally. I had made a few 'friends' while I was back in Korea for school and I had the friends I had made back when I lived in Korea full time but I kind of alienated all of them. I didn't really speak to my childhood friends when I got back and my school friends got tired of inviting me out, just for me to tell them no. I was alone for the most part and that was all my fault.

But after the NYE Idol party, I had the perfect friend for my loneliness. Felix was always so busy that I could never actually see him, which was fine because I moved back home anyway, but he always texted me. We texted about nothing of substance. Nothing too deep, typically, but he would tell me about his days. He'd tell me when things were going really good and on the days that things weren't, he wouldn't really say much. But the bond we developed was strong and now I felt like I was failing him because I knew that we could never go back to that. And if our friendship failed, it'd be all my fault. I think that's what scares me the most.