In Too Deep (A Stray Kids/GOT7 AMBW Fanfic)

Chapter 21

Felix P.O.V Cont'd

"What do you mean I should go home?" I asked, standing up. She just wasn't making any sense. Why should I leave her?

"Didn't you hear what I said? Felix please," she replied, rubbing her forehead. "You should just go home to your parents because they'll treat you better. I'm tired of hurting you."

"How are you hurting me? I'm doing just fine," I responded. "What's going on? Is it Jackson?"

She stood there with tears in her eyes, unable to look me in mine. It was then I knew. I collapsed back onto the bed, my knees unwilling to hold my weight.

"It is Jackson... what happened now? Did you sleep with him? Is that it?! Kimmie, answer me!" My voice continuously grew louder as my anger level rose. Dammit! It's always fucking Jackson!

"No, I didn't!" She replied.

"Then what the hell?! Tell me what happened." I stood there, waiting for her to give me an answer. I know that I took to her very quickly but my patience was on thin ice. It's been Jackson... it's always been Jackson. Jackson has been in my way since the moment I met her but I refuse to let him destroy what we have.

"Well I talked to him a-and he well, he uh... he kissed me and I didn't stop him," she said. I started chuckling, though I didn't find any of this funny.

"This wouldn't be the first time, so what does that change Kimmie? Or do you not feel for me as you once did? Are you trying to break up with me?"

"That's not it Felix, I... I just want you to be happy, okay? But I haven't been doing a good job of making sure you could keep a smile on your face, let alone keeping you happy. I'm just so confused now. I'm confused because I like you but Jackson has a hold on me that I can't shake." She stood there with tears in her eyes and I hated it. I don't want to make her cry but I was so frustrated.

"It's just not fair to you. I feel like you're getting a raw deal. I want you to be happy at the end of day and I've been focusing on myself a lot lately, which meant neglecting you and your feelings."

"I don't care about all of that. As the father-" I started.

"And what if you're not?!" She countered. Her gaze burned as my heart felt like it was breaking. This child is mine, right? It just had to be... why would she even say that?

"But you said-"

"I know what I said!" She shouted with closed eyes and fist, her cheeks stained with her tears. "Look... It's not like I'm saying I don't stand by what I said before, because I do believe you are but what if you aren't, hmm? What will you do then? Will you still want to be with me?"

I opened my mouth to rebuttal but she cut me off.

"No you wouldn't... God this fucking sucks," she facepalmed. "I don't want to hurt you Felix but that's all I can manage. I can't stop making you cry."

Was I crying? I touched my face, feeling how wet it was for the first time. I hadn't even noticed.

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked calmly. I had no further words. How could I fight for her if she didn't want me to?

"I want you to do what makes you happy. I want you to feel like these next few months aren't a complete waste of your life."

"And if you're what makes me happy?" I asked.

"Then you must be a bigger fool than I am," she chuckled humorlessly. She looked at me but it didn't feel like she was really looking at me. Her brown eyes, that were usually so full of life and sparkled with every blink, had lost its shine. She gave me a dull look as she tried to collect herself. With a deep sigh, she continued.

"I'll just remove myself from the situation. You can stay in my room or you can take the guest room, doesn't matter to me, but I refuse to keep doing the back and forth between you and Jackson. I won't treat either one of y'all like public enemy number 1 but I also won't date anyone, it's just making everything messy." She wiped her face roughly as if she was solid in her resolve. She said nothing else and just left. It was the tough last glance she gave me before she left that contradicted the noise she made after she closed the door.

Her face said she was through but I heard her cries as she ran down the stairs.

I picked up my phone and dialed Channie Hyung's number.

"How'd the talk go?" He asked. I couldn't even answer him, I just stared at the door. "I'm assuming the talk didn't go well."

"Nothing's going well!!" I responded. "Nothing's gone well since the spring party!" That sentence felt like poison on my tongue. "I wish I would've appreciated the night we spent in the hotel before everything went to shit. Where we just laid in each other's arms, enjoying the company after being apart for a month. Where we were last happy with each other. She told me she feels like all she does is hurt me... I don't have the heart to tell her that she's right but she already knows it. Everyday she manages to hurt me in a new way... she's so fucking creative... it always hurts different but each time feels worse than the last. But even so, I don't want to let her go. I don't want to give up on us."

"What did she say?"

"..." I was quiet for a few moments.

"She told me to go home."

O_o

The next few weeks were hard to stomach. I ended up taking the guest room so that Kimmie could be more comfortable but gone was my sweet Princess. Jackson had been over almost everyday, just invading the space, like a parasite. He rented a car just to spite me, coming over unannounced.

True to her word, my Ice Princess wasn't mean to either one of us but the level of indifference she showed was one completely new to me.

"Let's watch a movie!"

While the idea sounded good, I was nothing but jealous. Why would she agree to seeing a movie with him if she said she was done with the both of us?

"That sounds like fun Sunbae," I interjected 'sweetly' before hopping over the couch. Two can play at this game. "What are we watching?"

Jackson glared at me while Kimmie turned her body to face me.

"You really wanna watch a movie?" She said in disbelief.

"Well yeah," I said, grabbing the remote. "If we're gonna be tri-parenting, we'll have to try getting along." The look of shock and horror Jackson gave me was akin to look he gave JYP during his performance at that award. It was hilarious but I stifled my laugh, wanting to look completely serious, unbothered by the idea of him.

"That's really... cool of you to say Bokie," Kimmie smiled. I reveled in the warm of it... she hadn't looked at me that way in days.

"Gomawo," I returned. "So Frozen?"

She giggled and shook her head. "No. It doesn't feel right since Chris went home..."

Hyung left two weeks ago, leaving me alone to my own devices to figuring this entire thing out.

"But I feel like I want watch that with all the Strays... 1 and 2! Jackson," she continued. His head popped up attentively at the mere mention of his name. "Is there a movie you'd suggest?"

I rolled my eyes as he pretended to the think hard. "How about Moana?"

Her eyes lit up at the suggestion.

"YES!!" She shouted, snatching the remote from my hand. Jackson smirked at me as if  to say "Ha, I won this one."

I turned forward and shrugged, admitting defeat for this round.

I'm in it for the long haul and we still have six months until my son gets here, Sunbae. We'll see who gets the last laugh... just you wait.
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Been so long since I last updated I think... sorry bout that. I've been writing this chapter for over a month and I STILL don't like it, how tragic. As always let me know what y'all thought. Have you enjoy seeing things from Felix's perspective? Next chapter will be back to normal, Kimmie's p.o.v.

Also I don't know when the next update'll be. I'm not feeling as inspired as I was when the drama first started but I'm gon' figure it out. Until the next chapter. -K