Your Pretty Face Won't Get You Anywhere

Chapter 15-American Dates British-not me it's the four year olds!

Diana stormed into the house one morning. It was a little cloudy, but the weather forecast said it was going to be sunny soon. "Heya butthole, whats up?" I muttered. "What was that?" she said, almost shouting. "What happened Diana!" I said, clearly frustrated. "She grabbed my throat and her hand subconsciously curled into a fist. "H-hey-hey Diana-a, no need to-o u-use v-v-viol-lence!" I stuttered, terrified. "You little idiot, your son just came into my house and is dating my daughter!" "Um, I'm 18. I don't have a son." I replied, as her hand loosened from my neck. Then Alfonso and a 17 year old girl walked down the steps with a four year old kid. "Alfonso? W-w-what is this?" The 17 year old then lifted up the kid and ruffled its light brown hair. "Hey, I'm Cassie and I'm American. My little boy has a girlfriend! What's her name Colin?" Colin wiped some snot from his nose and squirmed. "Mommy I don't wanna say it I'm shy!" he complained. Alfonso grabbed her buttcheek and she moaned. "Gross." Diana and I said in unison. "Colin, you go to kindergarten with her don't you?" "Erm, its nursery." I said. "Yea yea, Brtish-ers. I get it." Diana's 3year old came from behind her. "Mummy, this is Colin. He's the smartest kid in the class. And fastest, and strongest, and-" "Yes Gillian, shush. He's cute. But why are you dating him? Plus your too young to have a boyfriend." "Mummy, mummy, but didn't you get married at 6?" I tried to hold in a wheeze but it just busted out. "BUHWHEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!!!!" I wheezed, with a sprinkle of dad laughs. Glilian stared up at me. "Your pweetie!" she says shyly behind her hands then runs away into the garden and hides in a little bush. "Gilli's a cutie, yunuh." Diana flicks her hair and says sorry, then leaves. Then I got a text with Michael in a tuxedo on a kids teacup ride. Ugh, that asshole.

Mum picked up my brother Alfonso and his 'wife' Cassie and she scolded me to babysit Colin for an hour as she 'had work at the deli'. Her dad works at the deli and she just sleeps all day. Colin sat on my red, lip-shaped sofa and watched 'Paw Patrol' on my iPad. "You want spaghetti? I can order it online." I said, as I slowly put my hand around him, while looking away. "But can't we make it together?" he asked, pausing the youtube video. "I'll burn the kitchen down." I said blankly. "Pweeze?" he said, as he continued watching. Colin was such a cutie-he stole my heart. "Fine. Wagwan fam, we're going to the kitchen." I said, as I cuddled him and picked him up. He laughed sweetly and hid in my arms.