Your Pretty Face Won't Get You Anywhere

Chapter 36-Gelan Secrets

The day we were shooting for our first real episode, mysterious things started to happen. Money was stolen, artifacts and notes gone. Sticky notes and inky fingerprints left everywhere. But we thought it was Angels' little sister Lilian's puppy. And Lilian for the fingerprints.

Michael had come back with Evie. Evie was now flying to Venezuela to meet her boyfriend Gelan (jee-lan), who worked at a zoo. He had luscious light brown hair that went down to his bottom, long lashes, and feminine features. He had grey-green eyes too, and he seemed to have a curve on his chest. Michael flopped onto the bed in my room when I was doing my hair and started chatting to me. "Wassup butthole. I'm guessing you were on your time of the month when I left. Anyway, let's video chat with Hunter and Cleda! I texted your brother Alfonso and his 'wife' Carrie, and Colin is really missing you! Gillian has nearly forgotten you, and Diana is still a pretty stupid asshole." True. "You know, I'm really getting confused between American Carrie and British Carrie. WHY DO THEY HAVE THE SAME NAMES? Oh and sweet Colin. I wonder if he remembers his spaghetti and his burgers and his Peppa Pig and his Paw Patrol-" "Alright, alright, shut up bum face." "Anyway," I continued. "Angel's away with her sister Lilian, so I have to do the makeup myself. Reality shows aren't as real as I thought when I was 17-and cleaning toilets!" We both laughed and rolled over as I shoved a clip in my hair. "That reminds me, your 19 next week. What do we do?" "No need, we'll just order a-" "HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY SONA!" About 30 people shouted at the top of their lungs, then about 50 clogged up my whole room with streamers, DREAM, party lights, A DISCO BALL, and a fucking easter bunny on a POLE. Then Michael got thrown up into the crowd and taken out while people threw iPhones, iPads, books, Gucci crap, and notes at me. I was writing and signing as fast as I could and by the time my wrist was throbbing they finally left. What's for my real birthday then? A PACK OF GUM?

I was in the pool in my blue swimsuit, which was a t-shirt and some leggings. They were actual swimwear though. The VIP person for this episode was Kim K, and she made me jealous by wearing a tiny leopard print bikini. She stepped into the pool gracefully, shoving her massive butt in my face. Then she relaxed in the water-I bet those fake boobs help her float. The cameraman zoomed in on us when she turned over to chat with me. She was 40 and damn she was hotter than me. "Hey S.O! How ARE you doing?-like-this place is extra gorg girl." Then she got out of the pool leaving me silent. What IS S.O?