a week later
"goddamnit mic" I texted, after sending my 12th foot pic that day. "wheres my muni??? i need my pounds mah pounds i doooo" "your an effing millionaire you bitch" he replied-with an image of him on a seesaw with his tuxedo. "stop sending me pics of you in random places like when u were once on da toilet in a FUCKING TUXEDO" "sOoOo?" "miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic seriously i still need it i dont got ze cash in mah wallet" "shut up u baguette" "the fuck?" I responded. Why on Planet Earth would he call me an EFFING BAGUETTE???? Yeeeees, we did have our money and we did own Toucan & Co, but my card was declined 3 weeks ago and I have no fucking idea what do with it. You would expect me to go to the bank but nah, I have a bed and food and a TV so that would be an utterly absurd idea. Duh. "yk what? gimme yo caard. like the next time i come over. then ill take it to the bank and you can superglue your big fat bum to the damn bed. sorted?" "the fuck mic my BUM is NOT BIG." "yea it is. after all that sitting down you do." I exited the chat to my home-screen and watched some YouTube, then made myself some coffee downstairs. By the way, by house I mean:
6 floors
Private movie room (100 seats)
Pools (4th floor has a slide that connects to 1st floor)
See-through fish tank underneath seating area
Rooftop bar
Water-slide from roof to front lawn
Yea pretty sick, I am aware. After all, I am a millionaire, and I own the most valuable hotel company in the world. The vending machines are from it's sister company, Peacock Vending Machines Ltd, which has a measly £1,000,000. Talk about my company, we have £995,670,000. My/Our share is £456,000,000. So yes, toucans are rich bitches.
The next day, Michael got my new card for me. My classmate Jimin (the goody goody who is in love with BTS) came up to us at school and started moaning. "You got loads of moneyyyyyy! That's cheatiiiiiiiiiiiing!" "Just shut your mouth UP Jimin! You totally suck. Just because your named after someone in BTS, it doesn't mean you ARE BTS. Your just a stinker who farts in class." I said in his face. Now we were rich as the 'Twin Millionaires', we were considered gods. And we were close to being billionaires in a few months. After we got home, I texted Michael. And my reply was just tuxedo language. Or in other words, he sent images from Google of tuxedos with letters. 'H. E. L. L. O.' was the message, with each image having one letter on the suit. "can u text me normally?" "what's the secret image?" "my butt or my feet" "your a lil pervert you bitch its your feet" "okay okay im sorry bitch" I quickly took my murder heels off and sent the image to him with a disgust emoji. "why arent your feet INSECUREEEE" "no they not gimme NUGGIEEEEEEEE FIRSTIEEEEEEE" "buy it yourself dumb-head" "your such a mfking crackhead you lil dum-dum you clog the toilet by just looking at it" After that I left, not waiting for Michael's reply.
YOU ARE READING
Your Pretty Face Won't Get You Anywhere
HumorMichael literally needs to impress me. Once I told him that tuxedos make me weak, he's been sending me pics of just that. By the way, did you know I'm a millionaire? Well, billionaire. But I just found out a big secret about my family, that may incl...
