The Time You Held My Hand

Theo VII

Daily conversations with Lucas after the confession and the time he held my hand always ended with 'I love you' followed by heart emojis.

We started posting our funny conversations with one another, tagging each other on our Instagram. I told my best friends about Lucas being the person I like and most of them couldn't believe it.

"How could you like him?" "Are you serious?!" "I don't support gay but you go, Theo!"

School life was as usual. Recess together and sometimes we share meals. Lucas still walks me to class and hugs me before leaving. Occasionally on Fridays, Lucas would drive me home and we would spend some time together.

Lucas would still publicly disclose "This is my girlfriend," Lucas said to a group of Pre-University girls during our Photography Day. While the girls loved the scene of Lucas having his shoulder over me and displaying affection, I was still flustered because I didn't how to respond.

While walking me back to class one day, he reached for my hand and held it. I was surprised and also scared at the same time. I was scared if someone saw and Lucas's life in school would go downhill. There wasn't going to be any effect on me because people naturally know my personality and attitude. Lucas even flaunted it towards the CCTV that was installed nearby.

Lucas is really good at surprises. I'll admit to that.

"Theo, I need to go pick up my little brother. Do you mind if he comes over?" Lucas asked as we were walking to his car. "No problem. I don't mind,"

Lucas's family consists of his parents, himself and a younger sister, and two younger brothers. One of his younger brothers is our junior in high school and his youngest brother is only in his first year of Primary school.

Lucas stopped by his younger brother's school to pick him up before sending me home. "Where do I park my car?"

"You can just park inside. My dad's parking spot. No one is home anyway," I answered. My parents are always out working and they usually don't return home until the late evening or night. I am alone at home on a daily basis.

Since Lucas is the person that I like, getting the opportunity to spend some time with him makes me really happy. I guess you can say it's a new experience for me to be around someone I like and Lucas treats me like someone special, Lucas cares about me a lot and he is always looking out for me. No one has ever been like that towards me before.

I'm usually the mother of the group whenever I'm with friends because I'm very worried. I'm worried things will go wrong and my friends will have to suffer or be in trouble. I'm always very nosy about my friend's well-being, I nag a lot and I'm very persistent about solving another friend's emotional state.

Lucas for one was very affected by his previous breakup. He was also very cautious around people because he thought people were being fake towards him so he told me, often he faked a smile in the day and cried at night. These were moments of conversations where I try my best to sympathize with him but there really isn't a more guaranteed solution to help him besides being there for them.

"I promise, I won't leave you," That's what I said. It was a promise I made to him.

That day when he came over with his little brother, Lucas suggested we watch a movie. It was a Chinese love story. We were both lying on the bed, Lucas holding up the phone with the movie playing. His little brother was at the side playing with my old toys.

"Big brother! Is this supposed to be a snake?" Lucas's little brother was playing with my collection of old Pokémon toys so none of them made sense to him. I love playing with kids. I get along just right with them.

I can see Lucas continuously pausing the movie because I was talking to his little brother. While watching the movie, Lucas reached for my hand and was holding it throughout the movie. We never finished the movie unfortunately but I like the time spent with Lucas.

Before Lucas went home that day, I decided to give my whole collection of Pokémon to his little brother because he seemed to really enjoy playing with them. I'm getting older by the day so I don't play with them anymore anyway.

Lucas told me his little brother really enjoyed his time over at my house and would love to come over again next time. That made me really happy that I'm getting along with his family.

The people in school, know about me and Lucas, we are always together; but not a lot of people know the truth. The truth that I actually have feelings for Lucas.

"Hey, Theo! Where's your boyfriend?" One of my prefect friends asked me. I was going to deny it because I didn't want people bothering Lucas about it but before I could say anything;

"Hey! Don't you have duties to perform? Why don't you go do your work rather than questioning someone's personal life?" It was Benjamin, my school's Head Prefect. We have history back in our early years of high school. We're not close friends but we still acknowledge each other and trust each other in our fields of specialty.

"So, are you and Lucas a thing now? Officially dating?" Benjamin asked.

"What?! No! We're not. We're just close friends," I answered.

I wish we were dating. I'm starting to feel dependent on Lucas. The day just doesn't feel right without talking to him or knowing if he is doing alright. Even after the confession, he still treats me the same. Nothing changed. We're not official.

Occasionally, Lucas says "You're really like my ex-girlfriend. Kind, caring, I hope you'll always be with me,"