The Time You Held My Hand

Theo VI

"Do you like him?" Patrick questioned as he pulls his chair closer to me.

"What?! Maybe," I answered while trying to avoid eye contact.

"What do you mean maybe?! Is it a yes, or no?" Patrick continues pushing the question.

I hesitated but I figured I tell Patrick at least. "Yes, I do," I answered. "What do you like about that idiot? I work with him! He's an idiot," Patrick asked.

"I'm not sure myself. Whenever I'm around him, I just feel happy, warm and it makes me always want to smile," I explained while smiling to myself.

"Should I ask him if he likes you?"

"Go and ask if you want. Don't drag me into your shenanigans," I answered as I got up and left the Editorial Room to return to my class. The Editorial Room is where most of us hang out and also work; this is where we work on the school magazine but it's also our hangout place.

"Theo! You were here?" Lucas was outside the Editorial Room. Hopefully, he didn't hear anything from what I said to Patrick.

"Lucas! I want to ask you something!" Patrick shouted as he rushed out the door, pushing me aside to get to Lucas. "What do you want to ask?"

"If let's say a boy confesses to you, will you accept or will you reject him?" Patrick asked, pulling Lucas aside while setting his arm over his shoulder.

"Well..."

I didn't stick around to wait for his reply. I swear if Patrick tells him, I will end him with my own bare hands. I walked up the stairs halfway before Lucas caught up with me.

"Where were you? I didn't see you during recess," Lucas asked me. "Oh, I had some work to discuss with Patrick so I skipped recess and headed straight to the Editorial Room," I answered and Lucas walked me to class.

That night, I kept wondering nonstop what Lucas's reply to Patrick's question was. Was it a, yes? Was it a, no? I couldn't stop thinking about it. I shouldn't have let Patrick ask him that question but; am I not freaking out too much? I've liked other boys before! This isn't the first time.

I was still in my own dilemma until I heard my phone message notification ring. It was a message from Lucas.

"Hey, Theo. Have you eaten?"

"Yeah, I've eaten. How about you?" I replied. He won't ask anything about what happened today right? He probably wouldn't.

"Yeah. I've had my dinner too. Yknow, Patrick asked me a question today. He asked if someone confessed to me, would I accept? Is that person you?" Lucas replied to me. I jinxed myself. He asked the question.

I wanted to deny it but I figure it would be better, to be truthful. Besides, if he decides to stop being friends because of who I am, I guess that's just how it is supposed to be.

"Urm...yeah. It was me. How'd you guess?" I answered. I wasn't going to ask if he accepts me or not. I've never been that daring or courageous.

"Wild guessing" Lucas answered.

What in the world!? That was so awkward! How am I supposed to live and spend my days in school now? I updated Patrick on it and he congratulated me. What were the congratulations for? This is one of the most embarrassing confessions ever!

We continue to talk that night about our different likings and hobbies.

The next day in school, I was so afraid to meet Lucas. What was I supposed to say? How am I supposed to act? It's so frustrating!

But what happened was not what I expected. Lucas treated me exactly the same as before. He still eats with me during recess, he still walks me to class. During a last-minute meeting, Lucas offered to send me home.

"Meeting?! Why didn't you tell me earlier? How am I suppose to go home?" I questioned Patrick, who is always coming up with last-minute meetings.

"I can fetch you home after the meeting," Lucas offered.

"Really?! Can you fetch me too?!" Adam who is also involved in the meeting asked.

Lucas agreed. I guess after realizing that Lucas treated me the same, I felt relieved. I didn't feel so pressured or stressed.

"Hey, Lucas! Can we stop by the convenience store on the way? I need to get something," Adam asked. Lucas stopped by the convenience store on the way and we waited for Adam to return.

While waiting in the car, the situation was quiet but Lucas's Spotify playlist can be heard playing in the background. His playlist consisted of very strong emotional songs such as 'I See the Light' from the movie Tangled. The music was going pretty well until I felt a warm sensation on my hand.

I realize Lucas was holding my hand. He wasn't grabbing my wrist or my arm but he was actually holding my hand, fingers interlocked and actually happening. I looked over to Lucas, who gave me a smile. I was shocked however I didn't retract my hand either. I actually held on.

"I'm back! Thanks for waiting!" Adam said as he came back into the car. Lucas and I immediately let go of our hands.

That was my first time holding someone's hand that way. Is that what it feels like? To hold someone's hand, fingers interlocked. I messaged Lucas that night and asked.

"Why did you hold my hand in the car?"

"Why? Am I not allowed to?" Lucas replied.

"Are you going to go sleep yet?" Lucas asked me, followed by the moon emoji.

"Not yet. I'm going to finish some writing before sleeping," I replied.

"I see. I'm going to sleep since I have to drive tomorrow,"

"Alright then. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight. Love you," Lucas replied to me, followed by a heart emoji.

I was caught off guard once again. Was I supposed to reply with 'I Love You too' plus a heart emoji? I am so flustered!

"Love you too,"

I decided to reply back the same. After all, he is the person I like after all.