The Time You Held My Hand

Theo IX

"I miss you," I messaged Lucas. It hasn't been a full day yet and I already miss Lucas.

"I miss you too. I just arrived," Lucas replied.

His reply alone makes me smile but I barely have any motivation to accomplish anything. It feels so empty without Lucas around. My birthday is approaching and I wanted to give Lucas a gift. I feel like the world has given me one of the best presents in the world.

I know Lucas is very passionate about the airline industry. He wants to learn all he can about it. Lucas told me once he wanted a book by Tony Fernandes. I wanted to give Lucas the book as a gift for taking care of me.

I was browsing the bookstore alone on a Sunday after my Sunday class; looking for the book and luckily, I found it. I had the book wrapped and I slipped a printed picture of both of us on the cover. I really hope Lucas would like the gift I got him.

"Tonight is BBQ Night! They're going to prepare a lot of food!" Lucas messaged and told me, being all excited and happy.

"You should go enjoy yourself but did they prepare any vegetarian food for you?" I asked. Lucas is a vegetarian. He doesn't eat meat so the idea of a BBQ worries me if he has any food to eat.

It seems like Lucas got the problem solved on his own and I didn't have to worry much. Lucas called me that night too for a short while. The internet connection over on his side was too weak but seeing his face made me happy. He was coming back with everyone the next day already.

After returning from camp, we didn't talk to each other for a few days because I figured he would be really tired. I want him to rest up.

Back to school, it was my birthday. My friends sang Happy Birthday for me in the early morning before assembly. "Thank you, guys,"

Birthdays have never been special for me. I spend time with my friends and family and that's it. No extravagant celebrations or gestures. Birthdays were simple.

"Happy Birthday, Theo!" Lucas wished me during recess while giving me a tight hug. I'm a sucker for hugs. To me, hugs give me warmth and make me closer to someone. "I have something to give you," I said to Lucas as I passed him my present for him.

"I didn't even get you anything. Why'd you get me a present?" Lucas asked. "To thank you for being a part of my life," I said with a smile.

"Are you going home straight after school?" Lucas asked while walking me back to class.

"No. Jaren and Rohan are bringing me to a café to play some games," I answered. I occasionally go out with Rohan and Jaren after school to just hang out and relieve ourselves of school stress. We make our visit to the café near our neighboring school because they have board games for us to play.

"Did you order anything?" Rohan asked while setting up the board game. "I ordered a basket of fries as a snack,"

We were playing "The Lepak Game"; a card game where we practically put our impromptu skills to the test. We were laughing away until I saw Lucas walk into the café. "Lucas, what are you doing here?" I asked, curious to see Lucas there.

"I attend the tuition center upstairs," Lucas explained as he joins us at our table. Lucas stuck around with us for a while before a girl walked in and greeted Lucas cheerfully.

"Hi, Lucas! You must be Theo! I am Lucas's friend, Rachel," She introduced herself. How did she know who I was? Did Lucas talk to her about me? She looks nice and friendly. Perhaps, I'll get to know her more one day.

"Theo! Avenger's Endgame is coming! We have to watch it!" Iman and Adam were huge fans of Marvel and superheroes. They are always on about the latest movies and adaptations that were coming out. I've never been a huge fan but my friends like it, I enjoy watching it too.

I told Lucas about the movie and Lucas told me he wanted to come along. He would even drive me and my best friends over to the mall after school just to watch it. After much anticipation, the day of the movie was finally here.

Iman and Adam rushed out of the classroom just as the school bell rang. They changed and were ready set to head off already. I took my time but I can see Lucas being excited as well. He doesn't get a lot of opportunities to hang out with friends after school.

Lucas and I sat beside each other during the movie; the seating was arranged by Iman and Adam. They wanted the right people to sit next to each other to enjoy the movie. While watching the movie, I found myself gradually leaning towards Lucas. Halfway through the movie, my head was on Lucas's shoulder. He didn't seem to mind. I guess I was being clingy at that time. Towards the climax of the movie, Lucas and I started holding hands. Lucas held my hand really tight, probably because we were at the part of the movie where it's very exciting and tense.

Holding hands in the theater, that's probably the most romantic gesture anyone would have wanted, am I right? Leaning on the shoulder of someone you like, holding their hands, I felt like the world is really on my side. I feel like I am really in a relationship with Lucas but in truth is we're not.

I really like Lucas. I worry a lot about Lucas. His mental state, his ambition; I want to be there for him, I really do. If I could, I wouldn't want him to pursue cabin crew but I can't. I can't give up on my dreams just to be with him either. I put myself in such a dilemma but I know that if I really like Lucas, I should support him with all my heart.