The Time You Held My Hand

Theo IV

2019, I am now 18 years old, in my final year of high school; unless my fate is to fail and start over.

It was this time that I disclose myself to my friends that I was bisexual. I like boys or men or guys...whatever you want to call em. I had girl crushes and also boy crushes but I'm still living my single life until this year, that's when it all changes.

2018 was full of projects, events, and gatherings of sorts. 2019 continues that tradition except maybe minus the camping. There were still a lot of events to attend. The first major project of 2019 was a short play performance for a Performing Arts Festival.

The teacher that was in charge of the play transferred away on a last-minute notice. She then put me in charge of planning the play. The theme of the play was centered around acceptance and tolerance. The script was done in a few days with the help of my teacher but then I forgot I had to look for actors to take part in it.

I got my best friends Iman, Adam, Jaren, and a few other friends to be part of it but I was still lacking. My teacher got some of my juniors to take part as well but there was someone who I didn't expect to help me out.

Lucas Yang

The jerk that I disliked back in my first year reappeared in my life as someone new. He was a prefect, one of the top recognized positions. He helped out, playing one of the major roles in the play. During rehearsals, he is seen as very hardworking and worked to memorize his lines. I never noticed it as anything weird but one of my closest teachers was asking me what happened to him.

"He used to be so rude! Now, he is a prefect and all nice!"

I didn't know what to answer my teacher because I clearly didn't have the answer. Because I was in charge of the play, I made sure everyone was on track with what needs to be done. Lucas, being someone who isn't strong in English; texts me a lot to make sure his lines are right.

"Hey, Theo. Can you help me check if this is right?"

"Sure, no problem,"

The text messages later became hour-long phone calls. Lucas started calling me and we just talked. Lucas talks about his ex-girlfriend and how he is working hard for his family. He relates his ex-girlfriend back to me a lot, saying how much I resemble her in terms of personality.

I realize that I gave him comfort, filling the void of his breakup.

On the day of our performance, we were all getting ready with our outfits and props to perform.

"Make sure everything is prepared guys!" I said while going over some last-minute checking.

"Your bow isn't straight," I said while fixing Lucas's tie. Lucas played a character who was a higher superior so he had to be in a formal uniform with a bow.

"Look at you! You have such a good team member," Our facilitator said while watching over us.

"Theo is my wife, after all," Lucas said with a smile. I didn't know how to respond besides with a smile.

Do you think it's normal? Just some dude can suddenly you, his wife? I was beyond shocked. Good thing it didn't affect our play overall. Our play was the only comedy and it hit everyone hard!

After the performance, as usual; we all gathered to take some group pictures to keep as memories. Lucas and I posted quite some pictures together and our captions were always like

"Fake boyfriend / Fake girlfriend,"

This is because we complemented each other being worthy partner material. Lucas was responsible, he had a car and he offered to drive me home whenever I needed the lift.

Lucas said I was kind and caring. I put the well-being of others before me and not to mention, I remind him a lot of his ex-girlfriend as well.

Performing arts is done, next up is Sport's Day!

I don't take part in any of the sports held on that day. I merely walk around, cheer for those playing or help out with the stalls that are set up on that day.

"Theo! Can you help manage the stall outside?" My teacher asked as she passes a stack of cups.

"Yeah, sure!" I grabbed the cups and went off to where the stall is.

"Theo! There you are! Hurry!" Iman said as he grabbed the cups right off of me.

"You guys need any help?" I asked as I linger around the stall. "You can pour drinks for the customers,"

I made myself useful by helping out at the stall. We had quite many students coming to buy drinks. When the games are going on, our stall is usually empty and we get to pour ourselves some drinks.

"How much have we earned so far?" I asked while pouring myself a cup of Sprite. "We've earned around RM50 already! We had a lot of students coming in just now," Adam said.

We'll be out of drinks by the end of the day," I said when Lucas stopped by. "Did yall have a lot of customers?" Lucas asked as he took my cup and gulped it down. I was caught off guard. "Thanks," Lucas said as he places his arm over my shoulder.

"Oh yeah, do you want this?" Lucas asked, offering me a biscuit. Before I could answer, Lucas had already had it in front of my mouth, feeding me the biscuit. "Thanks," I answered reluctantly because I wasn't expecting anything of this gesture.

"I'm going to go now. See you later!" Lucas said as he gave me a tight hug before leaving. Lucas left shortly after and my friends were staring at me. "What was that about?"