Heartless

Broken Into Pieces

It's been a few weeks once I started up my other leg of the tour, and John and Scarlett are eventually going to have to leave. Although it's only a few days after, they can't stay with me forever.

Sometimes I just wish that I could do a million things at once. I wish I could tour, while visiting my family, and having all of this extra time, but in reality, I don't. And I always feel like I'm letting everyone down.

________

I woke up the next morning in a hotel bed, like usual, expecting to see John by my side, but I didn't. I saw nothing but empty sheets. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, and gripped my hands on the white sheets, while ripping them off my bare body. The cold air hit my smooth legs, making my whole body cringe. I scanned the whole hotel room, still double-checking if John and Scarlett were there. Nothing.

My whole body shivered, and I quickly threw John's t-shirt over my naked body, bringing back the usual warmth.

As I made the bed, my phone went off, making that familiar and quite annoying buzzing sound against the wooden table. I stopped for a moment, while throwing the pillows on the newly made bed. It was obviously John, so I looked over and read the message.

Morning, babe. Out for breakfast w Lettie. We'll b back soon xx - John

I probably read the text a million times, admiring the cute nickname he gave our daughter. He knows I'm a sucker for that stuff, and how much I love her.
I hit the reply button, trying to cover up the wide grin that felt like it was glued onto my face.

Ok. Love you... ;*

I replied, when suddenly Scarlett ran into my room with Tamra, and a cute grin appeared on her face.

"Hey!" I say, and pulled Scarlett into a tight hug. "Where's Daddy?" I added, and held her hands in mine.

"What do you mean?" Tamra asked me, crossing her arms. "I thought he would be here by now. He told me last night to watch her while he went out."

"Where could he be?" I asked, starting to panic. I was quite scared, while thinking of all the possible places he could be.

"Do you think he's... you know... chea--"

I gritted my teeth, and my blood boiled, knowing what she was about to say. "Don't you dare say it, Tam." I snapped, and clenched my fists. "You know he's changed."

"Well I don't know. I guess I should leav--" She spoke, looking down at her feet.

I interrupted her, and pointed towards the door. "Yeah. You really should." I spat.

At this point, I have no clue what's going on. I'm in the middle of my tour, I have a daughter here, and a daughter at home with my parents. Honestly, I couldn't even think about being a single mom again.

She left, and slammed the door. My daughter looked up at me, with her bright, innocent eyes. I couldn't help but let out a sob. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I climbed into the bed, and let my tears fall on to the pillow. Scarlett joined, and climbed on top of me. "Mommy? Is Daddy ok?"

I squinted and pulled her into my arms, trying to put a smile on my face. "Yeah. He's fine."

"Is he coming back?"

"Of course he is." I said, while kissing the top of her head.

________

It's 10 pm and John still isn't back. I didn't have a show today, but I do tomorrow. I don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't come back tomorrow. But what if he is cheating? There's only one way to find out. He left his iPad. I could check his emails, but I don't know if that would be getting in the way of his personal space. But this is important.

Scarlett was sleeping next to me, so she wouldn't now what was going on.

I picked up John's iPad from the floor and unlocked it, then hit the mail icon.

And there it was. He was emailing a girl named "Ashley💋💌".

I blinked my eyes a few times, surprised and shocked he would actually do this. I read almost all of them. He wrote romantic, and sincere messages he wouldn't even write or say to me. I feel like I'm used and empty. The sad thing is, I'm barely crying. Because I'm so used to his games and his cheating, but I'm sure I'll spend all day crying tomorrow. I slammed the iPad down on the ground, probably breaking it, but I didn't care. I'm angry and mad at myself because I saw this coming, I was just too stupid to say something. I gave him countless chances, and but my heart and soul into this relationship, because I love him. And I'll never stop...