Heartless

Lost Part I

Hello everyone! So when I was re-reading this chapter, I noticed there were a few errors, so I tried to fix them. But I ended up deleting pretty much the whole thing, stupid me. So I tried to keep it the same. But I have to warn you, it is a bit more sad. Hope you enjoy!

I never knew this would happen to me again. A divorce? Really? Last time it wasn't why I wanted, it was never planned, but I've had enough of being treated so horribly. I think it would be best for my children. They would no longer have to worry about having a father like that, whose always lying to them, but on the other hand they would still be able to see him, he's still their father.

I still have no clue where John is. He's been gone for almost 3 days, which is enough. My mom picked up Scarlett and flew back home to be with my dad again. And I think it's great they're still madly in love, but it makes me wonder why I can't be like them, and have such an honest, and sincere relationship. Love is a gift, and I guess I don't deserve it, and I'm not worthy enough for it. I don't know what I did wrong or what I did to deserve this, but I know something must've drove him to it.

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I stared up at the ceiling, then turned over on my side and stared at the beige colored walls. I'm sick of crying myself to sleep at night, and wait for him to come back, because I know it's never going to happen. I'm all alone, Scarlett went back home with my mother, and I fought with Tamra. I have a show tomorrow, and then I have a little bit of a break. All I want is to pretend this never happened, but it's hard to pretend when you know it did happen.

I heard a knock at the door, and I decided I should probably get it. Tamra has been knocking at my door non-stop, so I figured it was her. I was tired of hearing her voice, begging to work things out with me, but this time I figured she would be too upset to speak, but when I opened the door, I was disgusted by who was standing right in front of me.

"Hey, babe." He smiled, while pulling me into a hug. I quickly pulled back and tightened my grip around his wrists. "Don't. Even." I spat.

"What's wrong with you, Katy?" He asked, and pulled back, so I was no longer tugging at his wrists.

"What's wrong with me?! I'm not the one who's cheating, and is gone for three days without saying a word." I shouted.

Tears started to prick at my eyes, but I shut them and looked down at my bare feet. I wanted to be the stronger one in this situation. I'm always the weaker one.

"Kate, she's an old girlfriend. She wanted to catch up." He sighed, and placed his cold hands around my shoulders. His voice made my ears buzz, and he seemed so sick to me. He's a complete monster. Will he ever give up?

"Oh. An old girlfriend. I get it. Nice one, John." I replied, and crossed my arms. He seemed to have no clue how upset I am.

"Look, I can make it up to you. I'm so sorry, baby. What do you want? I'll give it to you."

"I don't want anything from you, you bastard! I want a divorce!" I shouted.

His face went from angry, to soft and begging. "Oh, Kate. You don't really want a divorce. Do you?" He asked. He was teary eyed, and confused.

I nodded and tried to swallow the lump that formed in my throat, but I was too choked up. "Yes, I do." I admitted.

"No, Katy. Please. I'll do anything. One last chance and I promi--"

"It's too late. I can't give you any more chances."

"Please. No no no no no. This isn't happening right now." He whispered, and placed his head in his hands.

"I'm afraid it is. I can't keep keep doing this. It's not fair to me, and it's definitely not fair to your children. I can't keep lying to them."

He pulled me into a hug, but this time I accepted it. His hands were tightly wrapped around my waist, and I placed my head in his chest, and lightly wrapped my weak arms around his stomach. "I love you so much, Katy. Just remember that." He whispered into my hair.

"If you love me so much, then let me go..."

He sniffled and kissed my temple. "I can't let you go. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

I was disgusted on his words, knowing that they were mostly lies. "If I was the best thing that ever happened you, you would treat me right. You wouldn't constantly lie to me, and cheat. I'm done. I can't do this anymore."

He pulled away and stared into my eyes, as I stared into his. They were red and puffy, and I felt horrible, but this had to be done.

"Goodbye, John." I told him, and he fell to his knees, sobbing and crying. It was a bit more than I expected from him, but he is really upset.

"I don't want this to happen. I want to stay a happy family, and see my daughters all the time, and still have you as my wife."

I got down on my knees and say in front of him, while holding his hands in mine. "I'm sure we can work something out. You'll still get to see them."

He wiped his tears and stared at me again, while taking a piece of my messy hair, and placed it behind my ear. "You're so beautiful." He whispered. It put a smile on my face, but I knew he was lying.

"You know," I said, while shrugging shoulders. "I wish this could've worked. After all we've been through together. Married for 7 years, with 2 amazing children. Now we're just throwing it all away."

He gulped and hugged me again.

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I was always afraid this would happen again, and it finally did...