Illicit Affairs

Chapter 25

Saturday 26th June 2021

That morning had been... strange. Not awkward, they were never awkward, but there was definitely a strange atmosphere between them. It was like they both had something to say to each other, but neither was willing to speak first. Her fingertips tapped against her wrist as she sat in the passenger seat of the car, trying not to think about what she was about to do, where she was about to go.

She glanced over at Derek who was focusing on the road, the familiar expression on his face that he got when his mind was working a million miles an hour, his knuckles white as his hands gripped the steering wheel. As his head started to turn to look at her, she quickly turned her head away to look out the window at the passing scenery, feeling a slight relief as she realised, they had arrived at the airport as Derek found a parking space near the front entrance.

"Stay in the car," she finally spoke as the car came to a stop in the car park space.

"Meredith..."

"No, Derek. I... I won't be able to do this if you come inside the airport with me. I need to do this. I need to go," she said, tears obvious in her eyes as she turned to look at him.

"Okay," he murmured, his hand reaching for hers with a gentle squeeze, "Can I just... can I say something?"

"Yeah," she nodded, biting her lip as his thumb gently rubbed against the back of her hand.

"I love you, Meredith. I'm so in love with you. And I am so proud of you, so proud, and I want you to have everything you want. I'm going to miss you like hell, but you're going to do amazing, I know you are, and I know I have to let you go and let you do this, I know how important this is to you."

"Damn it, Derek," she muttered, not even realising a tear had fallen until his hand lifted to cup her cheek, his thumb wiping the lone tear from her cheek.

"I'll do what you asked, I will. I won't contact you until you're ready to speak to me," he paused at a sharp intake of breath before continuing, "God, I'm going to miss you."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her head instinctively leaning into his palm as her eyes closed.

"No, you have nothing to apologise for," he smiled softly, "and I mean this as seriously as I can, go and be extraordinary. Show them what you're made of."

A short laugh escaped her lips as another tear fell, opening her eyes again and turning away from him as he squeezed her hand gently. He encouraged her to face him again using his hand on her cheek, and suddenly he was a lot closer to her, his lips seconds away from hers. She wanted to resist. She tried to resist, but his lips were on hers before she could protest. It was just a soft kiss, just one soft kiss and as soon as it had begun, his lips had left hers, leaving hers slightly parted.

"I need to go," she breathed.

"I know," he said with a nod, dropping his hand from her face before climbing out of the car.

"Derek," she sighed softly, climbing out of the car with you, "Stay in the car, please."

"I'm not coming inside," he said, getting her suitcase out of the trunk of the car and bringing it round to where she stood beside the car, "but I wanted to hug you properly before you leave."

"Oh," she turned to him as he approached, and he quickly pulled her into a tight hug.

One arm wrapped around her shoulders tight, he buried his face against her neck as he held her close with his other arm around her waist. She found herself standing on her tiptoes to return the hug as he held her tight and she breathed him in for probably the last time, her arms tight around him. Eventually, they both let go, reluctantly. She stepped back a little, her mind spinning a little as she tried to remind herself to not run back into his arms and let him take her home. She could go anywhere she wanted right now, but she couldn't go home.