Living life on the edge

18 | long way down

it was supposed to be a normal Sunday for Karl. no motivation to do anything, the bakery closed, no interactions. just staring blankly at a wall and occasionally tearing up because a certain someone has popped into his head. 

he decided he was going to do something today, he didn't know what, maybe visit George, maybe go for a walk, maybe go to the cliff, maybe all of them. it was still early, 8:15 am. he had all the time in the world. first he got dressed and headed his way to the library.

 as he approached the door, he wasn't surprised to see the closed sign on the door, it was early on Sunday after all, but what was also strange was the door handle looked different, like the locks had been changed, maybe George was just trying to be safe. he tried knocking on the door loud enough for George to listen, no answer. "maybe he's asleep" he said to himself and shrugged it off, continuing on with his to do list and making tracks towards the cliff. 

he placed his backpack he had packed on the ground and sat down in their usual spot, well, his usual spot. the birds sang in his ear as the village was quietly heard behind him. he reached into his bag and pulled 'Romeo and Juliet' reading from exactly where he left off, he read and read for hours, finally reaching the end and stretching out to feel the fresh breeze against his face. that's when he realised, he hadn't seen the cliff at day time ever since the first time he met nick, the careless time where they felt like they were on top of the world, now it just feels like Karl is being pulled down through the ground and dragged about. 

it was a long way down, too far down to even see the bottom through al the mist and fog covering it, quite magical, but very scary. as Karl stared over the edge, that feeling came back. only ever once had it came to haunt him, but now it felt like it stayed. to try and stop it, he looked away and tried to admire the beauty of the pale blue sky, that didn't work either. he saw them, clear this time. not just two glowing particles in space, their faces, clear bone structure and beautiful glistening eyes looking back down at him. the funny feeling boiled inside him. like a tsunami in the ocean, gaining more and more energy as it rose closer to shore. he was too numb to realise he'd started to cry. just a normal daily occurrence for him. it had all pulled together. and in Karl's mind, there was only solution to it all.

it was now reaching evening, reaching autumn caused earlier sunsets and colder winds. Karl reached into his bag once more, pulling out a notepad and pen, one he had always kept in their, almost filled with noughts and crosses or games him and nick used to play. 

he flicked through the pages, it was like looking back on a photo album, all it bought Karl was sadness, anger, rage. he brushed his thumb over nicks messy handwriting they used to laugh at, then suddenly, he grabbed the end of the paper and teared it until it was little pieces, going through the whole notepad and doing the same, letting all his anger out, still trying his very best to get rid of that cursed feeling in his stomach. one empty page, at the end of the book, he gripped the pen and paper and wrote...