The Unexpected (Ranboo x Reader)

Roadblock

Tw- Panic attack, depressive episode

Im gonna try streaming again... the past month I had been talking to dream about streaming and doing YouTube. It sounded fun again. I have finally mustered up the courage and I wanted to see how it would work. This morning I do my morning routine and brew myself some tea. I sit down at my gaming set up and let my hands adjust to how I had once used the keyboard before. It's like the memory of gaming never left me. Hovering my fingers over the WASD and hand over the mouse I was looking forward to this stream. I open up stream labs and try to adjust and relearn everything that I had once forgotten. I finally go to logging into twitch of course I didn't want to stream on the old channel, that brought back too many bad memories so I started fresh. As a kid I had always said mayonnaise weird. Everyone I had met always thought it was a funny little fact about me. So I decided to name my twitch Yonaise. It didn't sound too childish but it was good enough to be called that constantly. As I put in my name and start my stream I'm really anxious. I'm playing Minecraft bedwars because I played that with some of the smp before and enjoyed it. My hands start to tremble as I wave hello to my camera and begin to capture my screen. Surprisingly a couple of people tune in and watch me play, this makes it harder to not slip into a panic attack though as I continue on. My breath gets shallow and my hands go numb almost becoming completely useless as I was breaking an enemy bed. I try to blame my bad playing on my mouse messing up but truly it was me almost passing out due to the stress. I keep at it for a half hour and end stream finally. As soon as everything is off I throw my headset to the table in front of me curl up into a ball and cry. Even though it went alright its all coming back to me how horrid people were and how someone had actually found me, making me move. I shake so much my hands and feet becoming useless and cramp up. I know that at this point I'm getting too light headed from stress and might pass out. That assumption was correct. I tried to get up to move myself to my bed, it happened, I collapse to the ground blacking out. A few hours later I wake up curling myself back into a ball on my living room floor. I cant do this. I thought after a year of not having hate and death threats that I would be alright. But I was dead wrong. I just cry on my floor for a good portion of the day not wanting to bother anyone as I mumble to myself.

"God you're so dumb.
Why did you think that was a good idea?
You should have listened to the people back then.
You arnt meant to do this.
You're not funny."

It just wouldn't stop. So many thoughts just rushed through me and I wanted them to stop. I just had no strength to move. As I'm sprawled out on my living room floor I hear a ding come from my phone which was miles away. The thoughts come back.

"Don't answer it.
They mistakenly texted.
You're not wanted.
Who would enjoy texting you?
Hahaha I bet it's just spam."

I never rise to go get my phone. These thoughts cripple me. More dings come from my phone but all I can hear is degrading words coming from myself to drown it out. I'm huddled in a ball tears flooding my eyes for what seems like years. The sun is starting to set again ending a useless day. But I hear loud knocking at the door. My thoughts try to convince me not to open the door, but it's rude not to right? As I open the door two people walk in engulfing me in hugs. I stand there not hugging back. It's Lane and Ranboo and they had both come due to me not responding to anything they have tried to send me. The both let got and look at me. I'm a mess. Tear stained skin, messed up clothes, messed up hair, puffy red eyes, and an overall look of exhaustion on my face. They both look at me with concern in their eyes and Lane speaks up.

"Y/N what happened... you weren't answering our texts,calls, discord messages, hell you didn't even answer Ranboos FaceTime."

She was trying to make the mood lighter which only helped a little. I look blank over to my computer to almost hint at what I was doing about 10hours prior to this. Ranboo waltzes over to the set up and sees stream labs open and twitch open on another monitor. He looks back at me in shock.

"Y/N were you trying to stream?! I thought you quit? So many bad things happened that I thought you said you were done."

I look at him in disappointed in myself, this small thing was what sent me into a spiral. But he walks up to me and gives me the biggest hug and whispers to me.

"You don't need to do that. Take your time. If you want you can start by appearing on my streams without face cam. Then take it from there."

I'm so relieved that he's thinking of me that I begin to cry into his hoodie. He tightened the hug and also sheds a few tears. He whispers again in my ear.

"Y/N this hurts me so much to see you like this. I never want you to suffer like this. Please call me if it happens again. I'll be over as soon as I can."

I'm so disappointed in myself. I can't believe I put so much stress on these two by pulling this stupid stunt. I look up to Ranboo tears still in my eyes.

"Thank you boo... I may take you up on that offer later. Right now could we just go do something... anything."

The entire rest of the night Lane, Ranboo and I walk to a park and chat about what we did today. I don't mutter much but spending time with these two is what calms me down. I speak up a little and both of their attentions land on me.

"I love you guys. Thank you for sticking with me. It means a lot."

They both look to me and smile getting up and giving me a massive hug. This time I hug back.

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I wanted to put some small side bits into the story instead of making this cut and dry that Y/N and Ranboo hung out everyday and lived happily ever after. I hate stories like that and I know they get boring to read. I also wanted to elaborate how bad streaming was for Y/N. This is a lil bit of foreshadowing but you will never know when it will happen.