Left To Survive

XXVII

꧁ Jaden ꧂

4 PM

I was such an idiot.

Walking back home after the picnic, thoughts overwhelmed me. I had so many chances, yet I lacked to guts to tell Alisha I liked her. How hard could it be? I like you. And I think I might be falling in love with you. Actually, I think I already did fall. But no reason to creep her out.

Maybe it wasn't even a good time to say this kind of stuff. She lost her best friend, damnit. She just needed support, not a stupid guy telling her he loves her. That would only worry her more, and that's the least what I want.

I came home, the house was empty. Again. I wrote to Lisha to ask if she got home safely, and then I let myself fall down on the couch in the living room. I put the tv on and went through the channels, but nothing interesting came up. I left it at a series about elephants, some kind of documentary.

I'd been enchanted by Alisha since the day I met her. First her beauty stroke me. She wasn't like those other thin blonde basic girls, who preferred spending time in front of the mirror of their new parent-bought car. No, she wasn't anything like that. Strawberry blonde curls fell around her face, dancing with her freckles. And when she smiled, oh God, my heart fluttered to see the joy. Her chubby cheeks become red every time I made a flirty comment, or when we accidentally touched.

And I wished I could take away all the bad stuff happening to her, or that have happened. She deserved better. The bullying, her best friend's death, it was not what she deserved. The world wasn't fair, and I wished I could take away all the pain in her eyes. It physically hurt me to see her hopelessness, grief and defeat.

One day I'd tell her. When we're both ready.

꧁ Alisha ꧂

What just happened? With our hands touching? I couldn't let myself grow these kind of feelings for Jaden. I'd lose my only friend. And he was a guy, I barely knew him, I couldn't trust him enough to know if he'd stay.

Hell, I couldn't even trust Yara enough to let her stay. She left me. And I couldn't be hurt again by Jaden if he'd leave me too.

But I couldn't deny the feelings I'd developed for Jaden. Every touch was electric, I saw him in my dreams, at least in the good ones. I heard his voice everywhere. I blamed it on the fact that he was my first friend in a while, I'm simply getting over-attached. Poor Jaden, putting up with the miserable depressed bullied girl. I sighed.

Coming home, I saw he's sent me a text: Did you come home safe? xx

Little crosses? Really? We weren't a couple... Did friends send this to each other? Or did he mean more- 

Stop overthinking, Lisha, it was just a stupid text. I answered him, put the tv on and swapped to my favorite channel. A documentary on about elephants was playing, and I watched that while making some food for myself. I told myself it was going to be fine. Everything will happen as it's supposed to.