Left To Survive

XXXI

30 May

꧁ Yara ꧂

A few more days have passed by since Alisha saw my presence. I've kept away, only checking up on her once or twice a day, to make sure she was alright.

She seemed alright though, nothing had really changed so much. She went out twice again with Jaden, one time after school and the other time they went bowling. Bowling, can you imagine?

I didn't like the feeling I had about Jaden. My guts told me he wasn't good news, but I didn't know what my problem with him was, exactly. Maybe I'm just jealous. But I wanted the best for Alisha...

In the meantime I went to the dumping ground. Very romantic, I know. It was to train myself, of course. The place was full of objects, small and big, and barely anybody came there, so I could practice for hours without newspapers freaking out about supernatural forces being seen.

And I made progress. A lot of progress. I managed to concentrate better, and held objects for longer than half a minute. I could lift heavier things, like books, lamps or bottles of wine. Every day I progressed a little bit further, and it made me so happy. But then I remembered Alisha's reaction, and sadness comes over me.

I hope she will accept me to be around her. I miss her. So much.

꧁ Alisha ꧂

I'm still not used to the idea that my Yara, who tragically died on me, was a ghost. A freaking ghost, like in fantasy novels. I kind of regretted yelling at her, but I didn't know what else to do, it got too much. And I trusted her enough to know that she had left indeed. To let me breathe and calm down for a bit.

Plus, I had other things to worry about. Maybe not to worry about, but to keep me busy for sure. To be more specific, busy with Jaden.

He had been... wonderful. It felt good having a friend. Ever since he stayed with me as much as he could at school, during classes and lunch, and walking me home (every day!), I hadn't been bullied. I could feel the envy glances of Jenna and her friends, staring me down, but I didn't really care. I'd been pretty happy, happy that there was a little bit of light visible at the end of the dark tunnel that I've been in.

I remember how Jaden had taken me to his enormous house, to hang out. I had felt how rich his family was, only by looking at it. I was scared to even touch the floor, but Jaden was very casual about it all. "Our maid will come tomorrow anyways, so even if you make stuff dirty, it's alright. And my parents won't be home soon, I think, so we have the house to ourselves."

When he had said that, he had grinned and looked at me with a hungry, hostile look. I had felt a wave of discomfort come over me, but shook it off and started another topic of conversation.

The other day we went bowling. Jaden made me laugh so hard with his stupid little comments that my stomach started hurting. I had to beg him to shut up because I was gasping for air from laughing too hard. His expressions didn't help either, though. I enjoyed spending time with Jaden, and I loved having a friend again.

Sometimes though, it didn't feel good. He'd look at me with a strange look, a mix of thoughtfulness and hostility. It was probably something about me, or something nothing to do with me at all, but other worries.

I asked him about it once, after collecting my courage. He had this exact same look in his eyes again. It was a colder day, but we were still sitting outside because the teachers wouldn't let us in the cafeteria of the school if we'd already finished lunch.

"What are you thinking of Jaden, you look worried..." He looked at me, his eyes fixing in mine. I looked back, but after a few seconds of silence, I got impatient. "Jaden-"

He interrupted me. "Lisha, I need to tell you something, and I hope you're ready for this. If not, that's okay, I just hope that we can still be friends after this." Now I was the one getting worried, and my heartbeat sped up. "What is it?" I asked.

He took a deep breath and took my hand in his. I felt others starting to stare at us, and took a little step back, but he pulled me closer to him than I was before. "I like you, Lisha, a lot. Actually, I think I might even be in love with you..."

I- Excuse me? I did not see this one coming.

I stared at him, I was sure my jaw dropped a bit, and was unable to produce a sound other than "Eh..." I looked away from his eyes, and tried to pull my hands away. But the more I pulled, the stronger he held them in mine. "Before you say no, Alisha, think about it. We have had an amazing time together, and we simply click, don't you think? It just makes so much sense to me, and I want to be with you, forever, Alisha. I love you, so much." He put a smile on his face, hope was written in his eyes, hope that slowly scattered when he saw the discomfort spreading across my face.

At this point I wanted to run. The Jaden I knew wasn't like this. Why was he still holding my hands in such a grip? I was sure they didn't get any blood at this point.

"Jaden, you're an amazing friend, but-" the irritation was immediately written over his face. "That's what I thought you'd say, damnit!" He let go of my hands by throwing them away. I got startled from his sudden aggressive reaction and took a step back. "Jaden! It's okay, we can still be friends, like you said-" He looked furiously in my eyes. "No! I know that you love me too, you're just too scared to admit it! You have been through some inconveniences, and now you are scared to love again, to admit that we belong together, Alisha!" He wanted to take my hands again, but I stepped away firmly. "Jaden! Stop this, okay? You're scaring me, and if you're not going to stop, we won't be friends anymore." And I turned around and walked away.

I felt his rough hand close around my wrist and pull me closer to him, until our faces met. My breathing sped up again, and only I could hear his words, that he spoke so softly only I could hear them, before he let me go, turned away and dissapeared for a month.

You will change your mind, Alisha. Whether you want it or not, you'll be mine.