Left To Survive

IV

A/N: Warning!

This chapter contains physical abuse

(skip if needed)

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8 PM

꧁ Yara ꧂

Hesitantly I stood before the door to my house. I forgot to take a key with me, so ringing the bell was the only option to get in now. As if I wanted to go inside...

I took a deep breath and quickly pressed the button to ring the bell. I heard the sound echoing through the whole house. After half a minute or so I heard my mother's footsteps in her old slippers coming closer to the door. She opened the door and stared with raised eyebrows at me. I could read a mix of irritation and judgment on her face.

"Thank you for opening the door," I said. "Thank you, mom," she replied to me, indicating that I need to address her. I forced a little smile on my face. I was in no mood to argue. "Thank you mom" I mumbled.

She stepped a bit aside to let me pass through the door, but at the moment that I passed her, she stopped me with her hand.

"Luna, why do you smell like that?" I stood still, quickly thinking about what I could possibly say about the smell of smoke, that obviously came from me, I had two cigarettes not even 20 minutes ago. Stupid.

"I was hanging out with some friends, at the park, and another group of friends were smoking and they were very close, just next to us, you see, so-" I felt an immediate burning on my cheek, before I even saw her hand move. I felt blood rising up to my cheeks, my breathing getting heavier.

Why am I still surprised?

"Do not lie to me, Yara, I might look stupid, but I am not." I tried to take some steps away from her, she was standing too close, she was practically yelling in my face. I couldn't look her in the eyes.

"So what did I raise now? An addict? A smoker?" her voice went up. "I never thought you to do any of those things! And the school had an action, do you not listen to anyone then? It's those friends isn't it?! Well?" I was silent, all my energy went to trying not to let tears fall out of my eyes.

She took my chin in her strong hand and turned it to her. "Well?! Did you smoke or not?" she asked me. By this time my whole body was shaking, and I'd do anything to just go up to my room, away from her. So I nodded. "Lost your tongue?" she insisted. I shook my head. "No," I softly whisper.

She let my face go and went to the kitchen. From there she yelled at me: "And don't you think about eating dinner! You already had something to eat with that drugs that you smoke on a daily base now." I heard her mumble something, but couldn't understand the words.

I had the feeling my legs couldn't keep me up anymore, my knees were marbling. But I didn't want to stand in the living room like an idiot, so I took a deep breath and went up to my little cave.

I closed the door behind me and rested my head against it. I didn't know for how long I was staring at the wall. Minutes? An hour? Talk about dissociating. Finally I came back to the world and looked around. My room was a mess. My stuff for school were scattered all over the floor, the table and my bed, I didn't have the strength to clean up yesterday. With a sigh I started picking things up and cleaning the mess. It'd take at least an hour for sure.

I didn't think any ordinary person would like my little room. It was small, my bed and table basically took up the whole place. The walls were painted "pink, because you're a lady" (quote: my dearest mother). My bed wasn't usually made. I had an old boring beige carpet on the floor that I think belonged in the bathroom? It was thin and looks like a towel, I don't know.

But all that was not important. If you knew where to look, you could see little pieces of me scattered all around it. Little figurines that I got from my friends for my birthdays. A terrarium with two little mushrooms that Emily made me two weeks ago (I'd protect it with my life). Little black candles that I used for the aesthetic, yk. Books. Lots of books. On witchery, history, fairy tales (the real dark stories). And so on. Stand for an hour in my room, look around, and you know enough about me to leave.

I opened a box from under my bed and smiled when I saw that I still had some snacks. It's not the first time that my mom had tried for me to come down and beg for her forgiveness by making me skip meals. (by the way: the first times I did come and beg, but as punishment she still didn't give me any food, she even hid it from me so that I wouldn't come in the night. I knew she hid it, because I came in the night.)

Anyways, I found a full bag of oreos and a bottle of water, so that was sweet. I'd eat it when I'm done cleaning. And then I'd do my homework.